Welcome And Why Team Matters

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Hi, I'm Beck. And I'm Kev, and this is the Uncommon Freedom Show, where we help you reach your potential, maximize your impact, and live a great life.

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So you can make the world a better place and thrive in every area of life.

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Welcome to the show, friends. Let's get into it.

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Hey friends, welcome back to the Uncommon Freedom Show with Beck and Kev. Today's conversation is about something every business owner eventually has to figure out how to build the right team, trust other people with meaningful responsibility, and grow without sacrificing the things that matter most. Our guest knows that challenge from both sides. She's built a company around helping business owners find and develop great people. And she's also intentionally building a life centered on faith, family, stewardship, and purpose. So you can see why she aligns very closely with us. We also know her company from a personal experience. We've used VA USA to help us build our own team. So this is a conversation we've been looking forward to.

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Our guest today is Mary Elaine Baker. Mary Elaine is the co-founder and integrator of VA USA, a company she launched with her husband Brett in 2018 to create meaningful remote careers for military families while helping businesses build exceptional virtual teams. As part of a veteran family, that mission is deeply personal. Brett served nearly 13 years as an Army Ranger while Mary Elaine began her career as a public school teacher before moving into entrepreneurship. Today she specializes in building strong, purpose-driven cultures, deliver uh excuse me, developing people and systems and helping businesses grow without sacrificing faith, family, health, or purpose. That is a tall order. I'm very excited for that.

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Mary Elaine and Brett also homeschool their children and are launching Baker Roots and Ranch, a regenerative farm business centered on stewardship, family, and building something meaningful for future generations. Mary Elaine, welcome to the Uncommon Freedom Show.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Thank you guys. I'm so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Oh, we are too. Uh, you know, the minute we met you, we're like, oh, she's she's one of our people. And hopefully you said the same of us. Uh, it's really been a pleasure working with you. And Becca and I, we've been in business for about 15 years together, and we have learned so much of the right way of building your team from you. And the gosh, I don't know, four months or so that we've worked with you, and we're super grateful for you. Uh, one of the things we've learned is that it's really important to delegate the things that you're not good at. And what you and your team at VA USA have helped us do or allowed us to do is to delegate that HR hiring process, and it's so far it's worked extremely well. So there's a lot of directions we could go with you because you're building businesses, you're developing people, you're homeschooling your kids. Uh, I was homeschooled for six years. Uh, you're building a family culture, and now launching a farm, which is pretty darn cool. Uh, but one of the reasons we especially wanted you on is that we're actually experienced, we've experienced VA USA from the customer side. Uh, we first worked with your company to hire our virtual assistant, and now we've come back to VA USA again as we built out the marketing side of another business. So before we get into leadership and delegation, give everybody uh the origin

From Teacher Burnout To VA USA

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story. Tell us how you got into VA USA.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Yeah, so when uh you mentioned briefly earlier that uh before I started a business, I was an elementary school teacher. And so I did that for the first five years of our marriage. I got a master's in education, was super passionate about teaching, and uh I found I found it to be very rewarding. Um and I was good at it. And so uh it was very conflicting for me. About my fourth year of teaching, I started to feel some of the effects of burnout because of the the military lifestyle that we had. So at that time, my husband was active duty, he was deploying very frequently, all combat deployments. So um, as you know, that's very stressful. And um I chose the career path of teaching because I thought, okay, my children will be in school and we'll kind of be on the same schedule. But when they were very young, they were in daycare. So I was teaching, they were in daycare. I would drop them off before the sun would come up. Sometimes I had to stay after school to do other things, and it would be very late in the day when I picked them up. And since I was operating as a single mom, I, you know, all of those responsibilities became on my shoulders and I uh just couldn't wait to put them in bed. And so then I started to feel guilty that I couldn't really show up for them the way that I felt that I needed to show up. And um, it started to wear on me year after year. So I started thinking, okay, God, what else can I do that I can still use my gifts to serve? I can still contribute financially to my family, but uh I'm still able to show up as a wife and the mother that my family needs me to be because we can't really lean on my husband during this season that um in this lifestyle. So uh my last year of teaching, I learned about the world of virtual assisting, and I thought, okay, I I think I can do that. I have all the transferable skills. Let me try it in the summer and see what happens. So I did, and I never looked back. I loved the clients that I got to work with. I uh love learning about entrepreneurship and business. All of my clients were very different personalities, very different industries. They're all serial entrepreneurs. So I got a crash course in business, but I also got a crash course in understanding that I was a valuable, essentially a tool in their toolbox that did not come with instructions. And so what surprised me was that I had to help them learn how to be able to utilize me, communicate with me, delegate to me, um, because they all struggled in one way or an or another with communication and working virtually. And this was back in 2017. Um and so I was very much teaching them and helping them be able to help me, be able to help them, you know. So it it was interesting. It was it was so much that I learned about just working with people in general and business owners. I realized that delegation is very difficult. And um then I also realized that there was a gap. Uh, there was a gap in in the military community. Uh, the military spouse back then, unemployment rate was four times higher than the national average. I had friends asking me, how are you doing this? Can you teach me? And then that's when God revealed to me, okay, I gave you this blessing, not just for you. It was because it's not just a Baker family problem. It's not just a Mary Lane problem. This is the big problem in America, and there's an opportunity here for you to be a bridge to help these business owners who are really struggling to find top-tier quality talent with high values, high character, and work ethic, um, and help them learn to find each other and then learn how to work together. So I obviously had access to that talent and it started with my friends. I my very best friend still works for the organization to this day and still has one of my first clients that I handed over to her. So um I started organically one by one. I went out and I found that right person, and I would go find the client and then I would help them be able to work together. And so from there, over just the years of doing this that we launched in 2018. I don't even know at this point how many jobs we've created. I should probably have that stat at the, you know, at the top of my head, but we've created hundreds of jobs over the years. I know that. And we've learned so much about the different types of you know, personalities and business owners and the struggles all really come down, I think, to the same, no matter who you are and um what industry. There's a lot of the core same issues, I think, that happen when when um you hire somebody, even before you hire them, um, that we come alongside business owners to help identify, hopefully put in preventative measures, but also help coach each party on how to be able to work together and identify any red potential red flags of this, this is not actually compatible. So that's our story. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

And then tell of how it came to be. Well, and you really answered because we were wondering how did you go from, you know, it just was a personal idea for you to now I'm translating this into a business I can create. But you talked about just matching those needs. And we've had that personal experience with you where, you know, I would say we're fairly good at delegating. We've it's something we fell in love with and then started to do more and more of, but we were really missing some key pieces and how to lead um our assistants well or allow them to even step into different areas of our business. And so it's been fun to practically work this out with you and your organization and see how masterful you are at the communication piece. I see you going upstream. So you go upstream to solve a problem before it comes downstream. And we were dealing with downstream issues, not really clear on how to go upstream to course correct them, or maybe we figured it out a little bit too late in some circumstances. So it's been really fun to work this out with

Right Person Right Seat Right Team

SPEAKER_02 9:39

you. Um, you talk a lot about right person, right seat, right team. What does this philosophy mean to you? And how can business leaders identify the right people, align them with their strengths, and build a team that supports their vision?

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Yeah. So anytime we get a new client coming in, um, I try to make sure that they understand these concepts because most business owners, when they're ready to hire someone, they probably should have hired them a long time ago. Like they're way past due. And now they're in a state of desperation. And so they are just looking for anybody that can do the job. Um, so and oftentimes when you're in that state of mind, you're going to make a bad decision. And bad hires cost so much actual money, but also gray hairs on your head, stress, absolutely, beep, all of the above. And it's it's a lose-lose situation. It's also just not beneficial for the other person. It's not, it's not, not only is it not wise, I think it's not kind to the other person, you're doing them a disservice by making a decision in a state of desperation or in a hurry. So what I like to explain to people is, you know, it's not just can they do the job? That is absolutely part of it. Yes, we're looking at, you know, do they understand it intellectually? So I like to use head, heart, and hands um analogy when it comes to uh right seat. Um, this means do they understand it intellectually on a head level? So someone can extend someone can study to be a doctor. They could even pass the test. That doesn't mean that they can execute it properly. So you may understand something intellectually, um, but the difference between that and the hands is actual doing and the execution. So, do you have actual proven success in doing this? So just because you have a certification doesn't mean that you have proven that you can do this. So the hands is the is kind of the trickier one because that is negotiable. Sometimes they just need some training. Um, but it has to do with capacity. So do they have the actual capacity to execute? Um, capacity can also be mental and emotional bandwidth and actual time and hours in the day. So when it comes to the hands, to the capacity, we look at all of those factors, um, as well as do they get it actually on an intellectual level? The heart is the one, do they actually are are they naturally wired for this where their God-given gifts and strengths align with most of the duties? I say most because there's always going to be part of a job that we don't like. Like there's always gonna be little to, you know, things that just kind of drive us crazy or it's not as exciting. But for the most part, when you wake up in the morning, are you looking forward to the work that you get to do? Because you know you're operating inside of your giftings. So there are different things that can impact your desire to actually do the work that don't really have anything to do with you being in the right seat. It may have to do with being on the right team. It could have, and a team is anyone that's two or more people, just to be clear. So to evaluate a healthy team, it could be um, you know, it takes two. It's a relationship at that point. So we're looking at the collective. Is it the organization to that individual? Is it the department or team in that individual, or is it that individual and one other person, essentially, if in this case, like the business owner. So the business owner has contributions to this. And um, that first contribution is have we established a relationship built on trust? I love Patrick Lincioni's five dysfunctions of a team. That can go a lot deeper into all the aspects of what makes a healthy team. But to me, the first the first steps that we look for in the first 30 days are um is are we investing in building a healthy, trusting relationship, which is a two-way street? We could talk an entire hour on what that means. Um, and is there evidence of healthy engaging in healthy conflict? Conflict has a negative connotation to it, and I really don't think it should. I think conflict is actually neutral. There can be healthy conflict and there could be unhealthy conflict, but conflict is absolutely necessary in any strong relationship, any strong relationship. You need it in order to get to results. Um and then the right person is all about the values alignment. So it I would say as a business owner, you need to get clear on not just what your values are, but what are those key performance indicators? What are the actual behaviors that line up with those values that you want to see demonstrated in your organization? What does it look like in action and clearly define that? Don't make it a novel. You know, maybe you just need five to seven bullets or or a paragraph of a narrative description of like what that person looks like in the workplace. But you need to get clear on it because when you interview someone, you need to be looking for these examples and real life experiences and their own indicators that they actually are aligned with those values that you're looking for. So right person is all about the values. Uh, right, right seat is the head, heart, and hands alignment. Um, and then right team is obviously it's a two-way street, um, but we're working towards results. But to get there, we really need strong foundation of trust and healthy conflict to be able to get there.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Mary Elaine, you frequently use the, I'll call it a Diddy. Uh, get it, do they get it, do they want it, and do they have the capacity? Uh

Capacity And Time Bound Coaching

SPEAKER_00 16:03

that is something that Beck and I have discussed over and over since working with you. Um I have a group of men we call ourselves the Eagles group. You know, the concept is that eagles fly high. Um you don't find eagles in a chicken coop. And uh we were all business owners, uh, different businesses and industries, and one of the biggest challenges that we face collectively is personnel. And uh recently had a friend go through pretty challenging, you know, his right-hand man, you know, kind of disappeared on him, went um uh incommunicado. And one of the things I shared with him is uh, hey, does he get it? Does he want it? And does does he have the capacity? And I know that you said that there's the only negotiable, or maybe that's not the right word, but if they don't get it and if they don't want it, then they're not the right fan. The capacity piece is the one that you can work with. Could you just talk real quick about how capacity comes into play and how that's that's a little bit flexible or how you can mold around that one?

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Yes. Um so I would say it's up to leadership discretion on can we get this essentially to a yes for capacity in a timely manner. What is timely is you know, that is very subjective and is up to the leadership discretion. But there are some things that temporarily could affect someone's capacity or the hands being a no. And that could be um they're, you know, they have an illness, they have a traumatic event that just happened, um, they have, again, like I said earlier, maybe it's specific training that they haven't received yet. Or maybe it's because it wasn't explained properly. So maybe the expectations weren't made abundantly clear. As a leader, we owe it to them to do the due diligence of asking ourselves, did I provide every opportunity and clear communication on expectations, what success looks like, what the definition of done looks like. And if this isn't in the proper training. And if I didn't, then I first of all I need to make a plan to put that into place. But I also need to sit down with that person and let them know hey, this is what I see, this is what I noticed. Um, you know, let's put together a plan of how we're gonna get this to where we need it to be and make it time-bound. That's really important there. It shouldn't be whenever we see it happen, create a target goal and then create these um bench post meetings together to track the progress on how are we doing with this plan? And do we need to make any adjustments? If after you do that, um, you know, again, this is all with your own discernment and but you need to make it clear to the other party what that is. Um, if you've done that, then it then they need to they if you have to let that person go, they see it coming. They are aware. You've let them know the expectation of, hey, if we can't get this to a yes um in in this time frame, if I if we don't see progress, then we just need to acknowledge that maybe this isn't the right seat for you. And and if there's another seat on our bus, we'll and we'll cross that bridge when it comes. But if there's another seat on this bus, we'll do everything we can to see if you're if you're eligible for that other seat. But the tough call of a leader is if they are the right person and there's such a culture and values alignment, and there's no other possible seat for them, then unfortunately you likely need to just let them go. Um, yeah, I'm I'm very cautious when it comes to inventing a role for someone that the organization doesn't actually need. Um, just because you love the person.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

That's wise. That's wise. And we've we've learned a lot about that. And you know, I think it was Brene Brown who said, you know, communication is the results that you get. And we have absolutely discovered that in leadership. You know, it's like a lot of times the outcome is not what we expected, and we realized, okay, well, we could have communicated more clearly. And so um, that is a dance that we continue to work out and need to uh be conscious of, I think, as the leaders of our organizations. Um, one of the things we've learned as our business has grown is that sometimes the most valuable hire isn't necessarily somebody who can do something that we absolutely

What To Delegate Using Margin

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cannot do. It's uh it's somebody who can take something off of our plate that we should no longer be doing. Um, how should an entrepreneur decide what work should still belong to them and what needs to belong to somebody else?

SPEAKER_01 20:49

That's a good question. So um first, I I want to explain that all of us have a certain amount of mental, emotional, and physical capacity. So if you think of it like a tank, um there's a lid to every person's capacity within those categories. Now, my container in my physical capacity may be, I may have a larger container, a higher lid than let's say you backup. But everyone has so first of all, everyone's container is different of capacity. That is your true limit. Within there is your your your essentially your work, your workload within that container. So let's just say in your mental, you know, when it's filling up your mental load, you know, you're filling up that container, and if and whatever the space is between your actual load and that lid is your margin. So the margin is the space between what you're actually carrying and your personal limit. So what happens to all of us when we start to hit our limits in these tanks and our our margin gets smaller, smaller, smaller, that's when we start to experience burnout. That's when those things start to explode and uh and we start impacting all of the relationships around us. Our productivity goes down. Uh, we're kind of a miserable person to be around. Mental health can suffer. So when I'm looking at what I should let go of, I first I take stock of where I am at with my mental and emotional physical capacity right now. Because just because I'm good at something, just because I may have the skills to do it, doesn't mean that I need to be carrying it. Doesn't mean that it has to go in my tank at all, actually. I can still be responsible and accountable for it getting done, but it doesn't mean that I need to carry that actual duty. I just carry the accountability of it being a success or not. I mean, it same if you think about your home, right? I am accountable for my home being in shape and taken care of. But I may hire a housekeeper. I may hire someone to do my lawn, you know, and so I don't have to add that load to my physical um capacity container. Does that make sense? So I have um there's a couple different exercises I do with clients who really struggle. There's some clients that are like, dude, here's my hundred list of things I know right away. But for some people who've been doing things for so long, you know, when things are a habit, you let's say you've been doing bookkeeping within your your company for 20 years and it's just such a habit, you don't even think about it, you're just an autopilot. And because it because it comes so easy to you, what you you don't think about is the fact that it is actually taking up your mental margin, right? Your mental and physical, because it is time. So that is absolutely something that's teachable, time consuming and tedious. Um, but sometimes you don't think about it because you you're just you're literally an autopilot. You don't even realize you're doing certain things. So a couple of exercises I get people to do is to look at their calendar and uh evaluate what are those annual things, you know, those time, those um time things that are on a routine, annually, quarterly, monthly, weekly, down to the daily. Sometimes it's easier to think kind of bigger and and then and then when you start to get more micro, that can be a little more challenge. So more of a challenge. So then I have people do um, they could look at their two-week uh tasks that they've been doing. They can journal for two weeks. They can now with AI, if you have a task or project management tool, you can get AI to analyze your calendar, analyze. We use clickup, you know, analyze clickup, analyze your calendar, and analyze your Gmail and basically audit you for all the opportunities that lie um and and to categorize it for you. So now at AI, you got a whole thought partner to help you really take a step back and analyze what am I actually carrying and what is actually filling up my containers for my mental, emotional, and physical capacity.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Man, that's good. It reminds me of um the mentor that said, you know, capability is not the same as capacity. And it was just that awareness, right? That's so often we equate those two things.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

So another another phrase that I use is no margin, no mission. So if you don't have margin in your life, whether in physical, yes, is also, you know, your health, your time. Um, but if you don't have margin, how are you able to adapt when life throws you curveballs? How are you able to adapt whenever God's giving you a different mission or assignment? You know, it's so much more difficult to pivot, to breathe, to think creatively, to think strategically, to breathe, to invest in your relationships, um, invest in your health, no margin, no mission. And we're all on mission, we're all on assignment.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Yeah, Mary Elaine, um, you know, one of the words that's very common these days is self-care. Uh, but I

Self Care Versus The Startup Grind

SPEAKER_00 26:25

what I've observed is I think some people take self-care to an extreme. And uh self-care is can become laziness with a really pretty word. You know, it's it's a nice title to um something that isn't necessarily so good. Uh the reality is that being an entrepreneur, a business owner, it's incredibly difficult. And what I've learned is actually most people what they really want is a job without a boss, uh, but they don't necessarily have the DNA that it takes to be a true entrepreneur. Um can you just talk real quick? It's Beck and I fully believe in preserving that margin because it it's so essential. But how do you balance margin between really laziness becoming uh a pretty word called self-care or margin? Like people could just say, well, I need more margin in my life. So how do you like how do you balance those two things?

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Well, I think anytime you're I first of all, if you're starting a new business, you gotta grind it out. I mean, there's no one in startup that can say, oh, it was a breeze. There's especially if it's you're you're you're in the first few years of business and it's your first business. I haven't met anybody ever that isn't um that didn't have to put in a lot of sweat equity and time and money and energy into it in the beginning. I mean, you you just have to, you're laying the foundation. It and if you're starting a business completely from scratch, even more so. Um, but I would say most people know that going into entrepreneurship. Okay, I know that when I start this venture, that it is gonna require so much of me, right? But I can see my goal though. Everyone gets into entrepreneurship. I believe most people get into entrepreneurship for the pursuit of freedom because, you know, like you said, they they don't want to have to report to anybody, but it's also the financial freedom, it's the time freedom, it's the flexibility of knowing that um I can create this or this entity to fit my life, and I don't have to adapt my life to this. So, but the journey to get there is different for everyone. And what I see is that business owners lose their way, you know, or or or they um they're there there comes this tipping point where delegation is not a nice to have, but it is a must-have. If you want to get to that other side of why you went into business to begin with, you're go and you want to scale and grow this and and not you want to own a business, you don't want to own your job. Okay. So if you want to get there, it requires building a team, it requires delegation. Um, and and to go back to your question about you know, the I want margin, I want that freedom, I want, you know, I want that time freedom, or I want to be able to invest in self-care. Um if you I think it takes a lot of wisdom and discernment in understanding one, what does that mean for this season that I am in? Um I I personally don't believe in retirement. Like I just I don't think that's how God like tell me where that's in the Bible, right? Like you're you always have a gift to give, to serve, and to um um to use your gifts to serve others, whatever season of life you're in. I do believe that. So I think I think it takes wisdom to discern understanding, okay, like I need to rest. I need to um I need to create some breathing room for myself because I'm gonna burn out, versus having this fantasy idea of a perfect work-life balance that you're always like striving for. I I think a perfect work-life balance doesn't exist. I don't think you're ever gonna go through a whole like long life lifetime of I got it all figured out. It does like life just doesn't work like that.

unknown 30:55

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

So um, you know, I think being realistic, business is an infinite game. There's there's no finish line here. It's infinite. So, what are we doing through these seasons? There's always this J curve, right? But like you're you but also you're never gonna actually get out of it. Once you, once you figure something out, you're gonna there's gonna be some other challenge. You're gonna have to figure that out too. So I think we need to like dispel this fantasy that we have and understand that as our businesses grow, the challenges just get bigger. Yeah, and if you're not evolving and you're not working on yourself to evolve with with the growth of your business, like personally, and investing in yourself for your own growth. And you, and if you're not coachable and if you're not willing to change and evolve as well, you're gonna you're always gonna feel this friction. And eventually, eventually the business, you or the business are gonna plateau. And if any one of those happens, it's not gonna be good for for anyone on your team.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

So insightful. And I think what we've noticed is you know, one mistake leaders can make is hiring somebody and essentially saying, here, you know, you go, you go figure it out. Um, and then being frustrated

Remote Training Systems That Stick

SPEAKER_02 32:10

when the person doesn't perform the way they envisioned. And so that, like you've talked a lot about that's not very fair to either person. Um, when it comes to what have you learned about hiring the right people, setting them up for success through your intentional training and creating a culture of accountability, especially in a remote environment.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Yes. Okay. First of all, you must, must, must use some kind of task or project management tool. I mentioned earlier. We use ClickUp. There's so many ads out there. It really just pick one and use it, learn how to use it. Um, because if you're working with anyone virtually, you need ways to be able to track the progress of these projects and tasks, what's been done, what's not done, what's past due, and have a I mean, it's a safeguard of um, you know, if I if I had a phone conversation with a teammate and we both get off the phone and neither one of us put it in our task or the outcome of that conversation in our tool, um, then what's gonna happen is two weeks later, it turns into he said, she said, or wait, what did we say again? So it's it's a it's a safety net for you, first of all. So any anything that comes out of a discussion needs to be documented in writing. So I would say that. So I tell all of my team members, if you have a phone conversation or a virtual meeting, you follow up in writing, you make sure you have that summary and you put it somewhere safe. So it either, you know, either you're sending a message to that individual afterwards, hey, this is what we discussed, this is what you're going to do, and this is what I'm gonna do, and then go put the those action items in your in your project management tool. Um, but when it comes to training, what you just described is essentially abdicating, you know, you're just kind of dumping it on them and walking away and expecting it to work out. Um so anytime a team member is learning something brand new for the first time, first of all, they need to understand two things. The definition of done. So, what does this need to look like every time this is completed?

unknown 34:22

So good.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

And the second thing is the desired outcome. We want to delegate outcomes, not just the key responsibility. The outcome is why is this important? What does this impact? And what is this going to look like or feel like? You know, what is this? If it's something indirectly, let's say you, Becca, let's say you were delegating email management. The definition of done could look like, you know, at the end of every day, I have inbox zero, and you have reported to me the most important items that need my attention within 24 business hours. And every VIP has received some kind of response within 24 business hours, even if it wasn't a direct answer to their question, or, you know, it's just saying, hey, I see this, I'm flagging it, just acknowledgement. So let's just say that's the definition of done. The desired outcome is um Becca has uh less mental fatigue. She's not going down these rabbit holes, she's not losing time lost in the black hole of her inbox. And um, so this is gonna reduce stress. This is gonna give her clarity, and it's gonna help her know what she actually needs to focus on and when. Um, so that's that's the outcome, that's the impact that that's gonna make. So that needs to be explained first, and then you need to show them. So if this is virtually record, record, record every session, use the transcript and AI to help build out that initial SOP, and then have them own that SOP moving forward on how they're gonna do it. And then they're gonna demonstrate it to you. You give them immediate feedback, and then when you know that they can do it with minimal to no corrections, then they can fly independently, then they can soar.

unknown 36:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

That's great. So we are uh gonna wind down with one last question, and then we may have to do a second session at some point. But uh, you have so much value to add here. Yeah, but let's talk about delegation. Why is delegation such a critical skill for business owners? And what advice do you give leaders who struggle to let go of responsibilities

Delegation Requires Trust And Conflict

SPEAKER_00 36:39

and empower their teams?

SPEAKER_01 36:42

A question I would ask is what's at risk if you don't? You know, what is what is that what is it costing you to not delegate? Sometimes that's easier to focus on that. And when you it's all hard, okay. Whether if you choose not to delegate and keep it all on your shoulders and carry all of that weight for for eternity, uh that's really hard. And then to delegate, it's hard. To learn that skill, it's also hard. So one, just choose your hard. And I would look at what's at stake if you don't choose to trust, choose to let go, choose to learn those skills because it's all a skill. Communication is a skill. A lot of times people are poor delegators because frankly, they're poor communicators. Or or they struggle really, really badly with conflict. So I would evaluate do I actually fully wholeheartedly believe what other people say that I'm an excellent communicator? And if the answer is no, then now you know what you need to work on. Anyone can learn communication skills. There's tons of resources out there. And the other one is um do I have trust issues? If you have trust issues, you need to work that out. You need to figure out why, because that's a that's more of a deeply rooted issue that has nothing to do with the the people you're hiring. It actually could go back to your childhood.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

And as a as a business owner, I told someone this yesterday. It be business becomes there's two, there's three things I think are fantastic mirrors for yourself. Getting married, becoming a parent, becoming a business owner. Amen. And a business owner, becoming a business owner, becoming a leader in any capacity becomes a whole other mirror that I didn't see, even with becoming a parent or becoming a parent and becoming a wife. It was a whole other lens that I had to look at myself. And it was that was one of the hardest things was learn how to become a better communicator and learn how to trust people and um learn how to navigate conflict in a healthy way. Delegation requires all of those things. So I would say evaluate yourself and be honest and ask yourself, am I coachable? Am I willing to put in the work not only for myself and my organization, but for the people that need to work with me? Are they worth it? And is my vision worth it for where I want to take this organization?

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Marilyn, one of the terms that I learned in the Marine Corps is commander's intent. And I talk about this in my book. And the idea there is delegation. The key is, like you talked about, to make sure that the people working for you know what you want the end result to be. And a lot of times we have a tendency to dictate exactly how they get there. For example, in you know, the military, you know, commander's intent might be, we're going to destroy the enemy on this hill, you know, hill XYZ. And a micromanager is gonna say, You're gonna go exactly up this way, you know, you're gonna do it this way, and and they're gonna uh articulate all of the steps that you have to take to get there. Where what I experienced is a good leader. Um, you know, I talk about Rob Cossid in my book, and I get emotional because he passed away from cancer, but he was an impactful leader in my life. And he you basically told me, Kevin, here's the mission. Um every every casualty notification needs to get made in a timely manner, and you know, we knew what the general's timeline was for that. And as long as it happens, I don't care how you get it done. And it was the most enjoyable nine months of my Marine Corps career, even was even though it was probably the most challenging and emotionally it was very uh taxing. Um but I had complete autonomy to just get the job done. And we achieved commander's intent, um, but he didn't micromanage. And I think that's one of the challenges. You know, people who go into business, they we can be control freaks. And you know, there's gonna be some things where you say it has to be done this way, uh. But overall, it's saying this is the mission, we all do things differently. Like, you know, Beck and I, we cut veggies different, you know, we wash dishes different. Um what I've learned is that different isn't wrong, it's just how God made that person. And I think it's one of the big challenges that we face as leaders is we forget about our clearly articulating commander's intent, and we get you know lost in the weeds as far as this is how it has to happen. Um, and when someone doesn't have the freedom to operate the way that they think, um, I think it can really take the joy out of it.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

Not not only take the joy out of it, you could be missing out on gold, right? Because you know, we we live our life with blinders on, and we may not see that not only could there be 10 different ways to get to that desired outcome, but there actually could be a much better way that will actually make that desired outcome even better. And you're missing out on it because you've put handcuffs on that person.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

So good.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

So um, every person is coming with incredible backgrounds, um, different their brains are just wired differently. They have these other gifts to bring to the table, and you could be sitting on gold and you have no idea because they feel like they can't share that part of themselves with you.

SPEAKER_02 42:20

So powerful. Okay. Between growing VA USA, homeschooling your children, building a family culture, and launching Baker Roots and Ranch, there seems to be a common thread of stewardship and

Stewardship Faith Family And Purpose

SPEAKER_02 42:31

intentional living, which I think is why we feel like you're a kindred spirit. What are you ultimately trying to build both in business and in life?

SPEAKER_01 42:39

In everything I want to glorify God. That's it. You know, there, there, I think God gives us all different passions of things that, you know, that we that break our hearts, that we care about so deeply. He's gonna reveal to us um, you know, even our hobbies, our glimpses into um parts of ourselves that are just so deeply ingrained that I do fully believe come from a higher power, right? So whatever breaks our heart, whatever we're passionate about, whatever creative gifts that we have are all called to create in some capacity. And I think it's all to glorify God. So for our family, you know, we're very passionate about health, about where our food comes from, about feeding and blessing and nourishing our community. And um, we believe that so much magic happens around a table when you're breaking bread together. And I believe that anything, we believe that anything you put into your bodies is, you know, it's it's very important. All your inputs matter. And so food for us is one of those very important inputs that we that we we're just so passionate about, right? And so we decided to do something about a problem that we see that that we solve for our families and for our community. You know, we're not here to necessarily change the world, we're here to change the lives of the people that we're in proximity to. Because that's that's that's who we're called to steward. So we're using our gifts to serve others. Whether that is, you know, I'm being called to homeschool in this season. That means God's using my gift of education and communication to pour into my own children right now. That may change next year. I don't know. But in everything that I am given, even just being here on this podcast, you know. I believe it's here because someone needs to hear this message. And I've been called to share whatever wisdom that I've learned to be a gift and a blessing to someone else. So no matter what it is, I believe we're all being called to use our gifts to serve others in order to glorify God. And everything just points back to our creator. So that's the theme throughout, no matter what it is. So, you know, next year, maybe I become a podcaster. I don't know. I mean, God may, God may say, hey, this business is gonna look totally different next year. Or guess what? You need to sell this business and you need to go focus and do something else. But I can promise you, whatever gifts that He's given me is meant to serve others.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

That's great. Marilyn, we love to give people a practical takeaway. So for the entrepreneur or even just the parent who's listening, who feels overwhelmed,

Weekly Audit And Practical Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 45:12

knows they need help, but still can't bring themselves to delegate, what would you tell them to do this week?

SPEAKER_01 45:20

This week, I would do what I mentioned earlier of just doing an audit. You know, if do an audit of your physical, mental, and emotional capacity. How much margin, if you were to put on a scale of one to 10, how much margin do you think that you have in those buckets right now? One. Two, I would do a calendar audit. And in your calendar audit, maybe you look at the past month, maybe you look at the whole year. Um with AI, you can get it synced and it can evaluate all of it. You can um, and then write down what are your highest priorities in your life? Is it your health? Is it your family? Is it your faith? Is it your, you know, showing bus being a business? What are those highest priorities and compare it to what's actually happening in your calendar? And if there's a distinct misalignment, so for example, if you say my health is super important to me, I am nothing if I'm not healthy, which that's you know, I believe that should be everyone's, right? Um if your health is most important, look at your calendar. What are you doing to invest in your health? Are you taking time to work out? Is that built into your time? Um, are you making time to to actually make homemade meals at home? You know, so your time tells you what you value. And if you know in your heart you value and you prioritize, um, you you have these most important your treasures, these are your treasures, and your time is not nearly going anywhere towards your treasures, I would say that that needs to be a heart check for you right there, right there. And ask yourself am I willing to do the hard work to take that first step to alleviating this misalignment in my life?

SPEAKER_02 47:07

Powerful. So for someone who's listening who has reached the point where they know they need help building their team, tell them what VAUSA does and who you're

Who VA USA Helps Best

SPEAKER_02 47:16

best suited to help.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Yes. So we love serving in a faith or purpose-driven um organization. So we love working with clients who know that their business is not there just to make money, that the money is actually a tool, a powerful tool to make a positive impact. So either their their their service or product is making an impact, or they they know that they are making it a healthy business in order to make some other kind of impact. So I like working with clients who have a heart for that, um, that have a deeper meaning and purpose um behind their business. So I love working with people like that. Um, I work with anyone from solopreneurs to, you know, you know, if you have hundreds of employees, industry does not matter. What matters to me is are you coachable yourself? Um do you actually, are you actually willing to put in the work to delegate and invest in a relationship with someone else? Because we are we are not robots. We are, you know, you're not being, we're not putting a warm body with another warm body. We are high touch, white glove, um, very personalized, like a boutique business. So um the right client understands that and they want that. They they're not looking to like be matched with someone in the Philippines that they never have a relationship with. They are really looking for someone to be a part of their mission and be invested and come alongside them. And maybe they just need a little help with the tools and the processes and um support with a communication and delegation. And that's where we come in and with just finding that right person. You know, we you know it's it's a it's a very involved, detailed process that we put people through. And that's because we really want to know you, your heart, your goals, where you're going, and what's worked for you and what hasn't worked for you to help find the right person that's gonna come alongside you, and then we help the two of you be able to work together.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

That's great.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

We really experienced that.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

Yeah, and it is important for people to understand. I think one of the reasons a lot of times people don't delegate is subconsciously they may realize that it's gonna be extra work. Like to do it right, you're gonna actually have to slow down to speed up. Like you're probably gonna have to work a few extra hours, you know, when you initially start delegating, because to do it right, you know, you can't just offload things and automatically you go from working a 10-hour day to a six-hour day. Probably gonna have to work a 12-hour day for a couple of weeks because it does take some effort to properly delegate.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

It takes time.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

Yeah, it takes time.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

It takes time. No one can read your mind, right? So it is an investment up front, and you and that's why I said someone really has to want that and and um and be willing to accept that. Okay, I'm willing to invest the time up front to save me so much time uh later on. So you got to be willing to put that, you know, roll up your sleeves those first couple of months to really get going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

So we could testify to that it's worth the effort and that VA USA is absolutely the right fit to help us do that. It's been a really interesting and blessed experience.

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Uh, what's the best way for someone to learn more or start a conversation with your team, Mary Elaine?

SPEAKER_01 50:36

Of course. So we are we're all we're on

How To Reach Mary Elaine

SPEAKER_01 50:39

Facebook, Instagram, uh, LinkedIn, but our website is hire h I R E V A-USA.com. And that's our handle everywhere else as well. Hire V-A-USA. Um, and I'm sure I can share with y'all a link as well, a direct link to schedule an initial consultation. Um, but you can also find me personally on LinkedIn as well. And you, you know, feel free to shoot me a message. I love talking about this stuff all day long. So there's no dumb question. Ask me whatever you want. I'd I'd love to speak with you.

SPEAKER_00 51:11

We'll make sure that link is in the show notes so people can find it very easily.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Yes, we would highly recommend their services. So, Mary Elaine, thank you for joining us. Uh, one of the things that we appreciate about your approach is that you're not simply talking about building bigger businesses, you're talking about building businesses that actually support the people and the lives that we're trying to build. We've noticed that in working with you and your team. So I think that's an important distinction. And for everyone listening, you can learn more about Mary Elaine, Brett, and their team at higher V uh V A excuse me, HigherV A USA.com.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Thanks, Mary Elaine.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

Thank you. Thank you so much. This is so fun.