Speaker 1: 0:32

Hey friends, welcome back to the Uncommon Freedom Show. Today I'm joined by a good friend and a very uncommon man, ryan Centers. He has actually been on the show a couple years ago one of my earlier guests and I'm going to reread his bio because he's added to it, like all uncommon men do. Ryan lives in the Phoenix area with his wife, sarah, and their 11 kids. They have two biological and nine adopted through foster care.

Speaker 1: 1:02

Ryan and his wife started Ohana AZ back in 2016 after years of working in the foster care world and feeling called to do more is a few group homes has grown into several businesses and services that include residential homes for individuals with developmental disabilities, luxury senior living, assisted living homes and wraparound social services for foster youth. Their team of the growing team of 400 plus is making an impact across Arizona, living out and sharing their mission every single day. Outside of work, ryan coaches youth sports. He sticks to a daily workout routine though he's still working on his golf game, aren't we all? And has a soft spot for his koi pond yes, very good, we all have that unique hobby, right? He's passionate about leadership, development, shaping healthy culture and building legacy businesses that serve the community and point to kingdom impact. So, ryan, welcome to the show.

Speaker 2: 1:58

Appreciate it. Never had quite the introduction. Uncommon man, I like it.

Speaker 1: 2:03

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 2:04

It grows on me.

Speaker 1: 2:05

Yeah, we just had lunch catching up. It's been about nine months since we got together and there's that beer. What is it? Dosekis, you know, the world's most interesting man in my. In my opinion, we need to replace that guy with you, uh, because I really do think you're one of the most interesting people.

Speaker 2: 2:25

We had a good conversation, lots of different angles yeah but yeah, you're, you're good people and like good for my soul and uh, we have similar mindsets in life and we're just doing different things. Um, but it's cool to see the common threads together.

Speaker 1: 2:38

You are, you and your wife, I mean, you guys undertake so many things. You're like the ultimate entrepreneur. There's people who think of themselves as an entrepreneur, like myself, and then I talk to you and I feel like holy smokes, I'm not doing hardly anything, but I love that and everything you're doing is so mission driven. Um, why don't you like we talked about 11 kids kind of fill us in on where you know your family, your wife, how long you've been married and just some of the kids stuff?

Speaker 2: 3:06

Sure, yeah, um, yeah, so we have nine kids at home. Uh, yeah, so we're just four to 15. Uh, we, we never planned on having this many kids. This wasn't always in the cards and the plan, but God had different plans. Like you said, my bio my wife and I have group homes that we had kids that are in the foster care system and then individuals with special needs. And there was this sibling group of five kids and very young, like a baby to like these preteens, and they were the sweetest kids you ever meet and didn't necessarily have a family and a permanent place to be. And my wife and I were just kind of figuring out life and we had. Our life was really smooth, but we just kind of really felt called to the work and I think that was like three years ago Now. We sold our house, reopened our foster care license, moved into and moved five kids into our home. So that was the probably the biggest like foundational shake of our family in the history and at that point your family looked like.

Speaker 1: 4:14

I mean you had all teenagers and above right.

Speaker 2: 4:16

Yeah, well, yeah, preteens.

Speaker 1: 4:17

Okay.

Speaker 2: 4:18

So yeah, now we're in our forties and back with a four-year-old. That's now life is great, but my wife would say a four-year-old keeps her very busy. Me too, but in fairness, yeah, it's more work for mom. Yeah, it's a hundred percent, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 4:32

Yeah, when, because I kind of remember you talking about some big changes. I can't remember if you sent out an email or if it was a Christmas card or what it was. It was like I wonder if they're going to adopt some kids or something like that. I wasn't surprised, but at the same time I was surprised, did. Were both you and Sarah feeling the call at the same time, or was it kind of one of you leading the charge on that?

Speaker 2: 4:57

Yeah, I think it was interesting. We were up in Flagstaff we have a place up there we took the kids into snow and see the snow for the first time and they left and went back down to Phoenix and my wife and I are just sitting in our living room and both just staring at each other, just feel like we've been hit by a car. And she's like man, if there's any way we could take in these kids, and that for me was like permission to start dreaming, because I was feeling the same thing but I wasn't gonna like kind of like I know the limit for my wife. We're kind of pretty equally yoked and we kind of worked together in this plan. But pretty equally yoked and we kind of worked together in this plan, but the moment she did it that next that night we went to bed.

Speaker 2: 5:44

I did not sleep a wink Honestly, and I sleep, like the moment my head hits the pillow I'm down and I remember just my head spinning of like how could this work? What's the plan? And I'm on and then I'm kind of praying through it and I remember I'm not even a guy that really gets on my knees, like, like, like physically gets on my knees to pray that often. And I remember that middle of the night just getting down and says Lord, whatever you want, like the Isaiah, the Isaiah scriptures, the here I am send me, like I can't like whatever you want, lord, yeah, so uh one of the things you said there is how can we?

Speaker 1: 6:13

and I my wife uses that a lot when she's talking to coaches, and coaching people is is just to help people, cause it's easy to look at things and say I could never do this. And the great question is, how could you? Because a lot of times we put things into kind of this best case scenario and what's really helpful is like, how can we do this? Like for Beck and I, when we adopted Evie, we were in a similar boat. You know, our kids were all in elementary school or beyond. We finally were getting this taste of parenting freedom, like, okay, our kids go to school, we've got seven hours a day to ourselves to work, build our business or do whatever we want.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Um, and then, you know, god puts Evie in our lap and it was a major life adjustment. It was like holy smokes, we're back to diapers and bottle feeding and all this stuff. Uh, and one of the things epiphanies we had was uh, we could actually use preschool. Uh, you know it was not something either of our parents chose to use. Um, there's nothing wrong with it, is it ideal? No, but also, being a foster child isn't ideal. And so it was kind of like man if, if we can make this work and one of the ways we make that work is foster or is a preschool, that's okay, right, it doesn't have to be perfect.

Speaker 2: 7:25

Yeah, and I like, as I fast forward now, looking that was almost three or four years ago, and I look at my life and my wife and I just got back from vacation. We took 19 of us on a plane to Cancun.

Speaker 1: 7:37

Not all your kids. Right Family 10 grandparents.

Speaker 2: 7:40

But you know, bringing nine, 10 kids on a plane, you try it, yeah, and but we just sat there and we just like our life is so full, it's like it was hard but it was so worth it and my, we watch our kids are like it's now.

Speaker 2: 7:53

It's like a big, huge tribe and like we, they all, just like all go out together, go to the pool and even now, like they're, we're, they're always like out back playing together, playing soccer, goofing off in the pool. This morning I'm working out, we have a garage gym and I have all my teen boys that they three of my teen boys work out with me every single morning.

Speaker 1: 8:15

That that's awesome yeah.

Speaker 2: 8:16

And now my daughter, who's 15 years old, does cheer. She's like well, dad, what about me? So, I wake her up at 6 AM. The boys typically for four months all summer have been dragging and like act, kind of you know, not moody, but because we have rules in our gym. If you sit, you're doing your, you're doing burpees, we, because we have rules in our gym. If you sit, you're doing burpees, we don't sit in the gym. I love it, yeah, and we always have a burnout at the end.

Speaker 1: 8:39

So we have like a max burnout.

Speaker 2: 8:41

Yeah, and normally they're a little quiet, but this morning their sister's in there with them. I've never seen them work so hard in their life. Yeah, they wanted to prove that they knew what they were doing with their sibling there and they were putting in work. They were doing sled pushes and lunges and everything. So I love watching like them come together as a unit and I honestly think it's like a fuller picture of life for us.

Speaker 1: 9:08

You talk about how life, how full you feel with kids, and you know, I know there's people out there who have chosen not to have kids. There's some that wanted kids and couldn't have them. So I'm not trying to make people feel bad. But there's also this kind of cultural shift and I know you work with millennials and Gen Zers a lot probably more Gen Z, I think, as a generation, so you know kids in their 20s roughly and there's this trend of not wanting kids. Yeah, how like what are you seeing as you work with that demographic? Why do you think they're like that? And and maybe help people understand what they're missing out at Cause kids are never easy.

Speaker 1: 9:47

Yeah, but one of the things I share with people is no one ever regrets having kids, even if you know they're challenging. Or or you know you adopt a kid that ends up with a ton of issues, baggage, attachment, stuff and puts you through the ringer. You know, no one other death deathbed says man, I wish I hadn't had those kids. You know, typically it's like I wish I'd had more yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's interesting.

Speaker 2: 10:11

Yeah, thought experiment, because in reality is like when I, when I'm working with young people, I watch the, the thing that I notice most about the generation that I've had to pick an adjective is like this anxiety, anxious generation, um, and it's not even like it's not just anxiety. I think we kind of put it as a badge of honor and a lot of times for young people, but there is so much stimuli that's coming at them in regards to social media and just different content of what to believe, that it produces like paralysis. So they get paralysis and they don't know what to believe anymore. So then they get frozen and then that anxiety says, well, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 2: 10:55

And maybe they've heard messages that you just need to figure out yourself. You need to say just live your dream, live your truth. And when they hear, live your truth, live your dream, it's like, well, what does that even mean? I don't even have a picture of that reality. And I'm watching these young people who are starving for mentorship and discipleship and saying like, hey, what's a picture for my future, starving for mentorship and discipleship and saying like, hey, what's a picture for my future? And so much of the picture for the future is like hey, you were designed actually to have a family. You were designed to have someone to invest your life with and to be fruitful and multiply. And I'm watching these young people wait till, like I'll wait till. I'm like have enough finance enough money enough money, or am I?

Speaker 1: 11:34

I'm like have enough?

Speaker 2: 11:34

finance enough money. Enough money or am I? I'm stable enough.

Speaker 1: 11:36

Right.

Speaker 2: 11:37

And we are trying to infuse in our kids Even now I have 15 to 14 year olds, a 13, a 12 year old is like there is honor and excitement of being a future dad and future mom, and you should have them earlier, like early and often you know what I mean Like and part of our family, like as we think of ourselves, as like this big, huge centers team, like we want to help, like direct our kids, to say like, hey, you know what? How many kids are you gonna have? Let's, let's create a picture for what that could look like for you and we want to even help be a blessing for that, yeah, for them, help be a blessing for that for them. But, yeah, this is like a, this is a new world where the birth rates in the.

Speaker 1: 12:58

United States are plummeting Below replacement rate. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 13:01

Yeah, so like what does that? What is that going to mean for our world?

Speaker 1: 13:05

Yeah, it is really quite interesting. So with nine kids in the house and multiple businesses, how do you intentionally build a legacy that outlasts you both spiritually and practically?

Speaker 2: 13:16

Yeah, I mean, so we have four different companies. It didn't always start like that. I started off as like a serial entrepreneur and I think I was just like a kid in the candy store and was like I was always willing to take risks and taking um got me shot in the butt quite a few times. Yeah, now I've, like probably learned. So I got some battle wounds and some scar tissue of a lot more methodical or wisdom.

Speaker 1: 13:43

Yes, exactly.

Speaker 2: 13:45

Yes, it's probably true wisdom and a lot of um, a lot of scar tissue, for sure, uh. But but we, yeah, as I think about kind of our businesses now and now having all these kids, I'm trying to think like I have a limited amount of time and every single thing I do is super intentional. And how can I like layer on multiple things that are priorities together? I like layer on multiple things that are priorities together. So, for example, my kids are going to a high school. That's like three days a week high school and two days a week. They do do at home and do entrepreneurship stuff, and one of the values is like I want to teach my kids hard work, to develop grit and to be able to build their own business and take their own like, help them bring value to the world. So not like yes, some of the kids work in maintenance with me for the company, but like how do you create your own business? So we've been part of the intentional time is like hey, how can I do education but also infuse that? So we all summer long we've been saying, all right, what kind of business can our family start together? And I think of it and my kids are like oh, what can we do? And one was like all right, I want to do a. Um, maybe we can do a coffee shop. Now we tried that and it's pretty challenging. Yeah, uh, maybe a coffee cart. Okay, good ideas, mobile, less commitment, yeah, but okay, we are. We all gonna know, as a 15 yearold, we have a line and you have to make all these other drinks. How is that going to be? That's going to be hard, all right.

Speaker 2: 15:16

Well, when we go to these all of our events with our kids, what do we notice? Oh, they have snow cones. Dude, what if we just do our own snow cone truck? He's like yeah, so we get online. They're looking for snow cone trucks, trailers that are used. What about this one dad? This one dad? We had to end up finding one and we pick it out. And then the next is like all right, we got to brand it together.

Speaker 2: 15:38

So we kind of create like a. We have our own little business meeting. So I'm trying to teach them business, also spend time with my kids, but then also know it's for a bigger purpose, because I for a bigger purpose, because I want my kids to know that we are a team together. So when we're going on a mission like we're, we're building a business together. That's just the tool to help them learn one skills uh, building a business. But secondly, I need to teach them, hey, how to work together, how to like. We are creatively brainstorming in the moment, um, and it's been really, really, really powerful. Now they're doing cost of goods and seeing that it's not as easy to make money as they thought. Yeah, and I love watching that.

Speaker 2: 16:17

That's really fun, the aha moments yeah right, the epiphany is hitting them exactly yeah, and I think I think so often we kind of want to separate out parent like spiritual moments and um, like maybe just just fun, fun moments together. But I am like trying to infuse it together so like we have our. It sounds really we sound so lame honestly as I talk about it. We have so many kids, our life is so busy. We've set up that we have a family meeting once a week. Okay, family meeting, we like kind of like treat it like a business meeting. We're like a team together. So every Sunday, after the little ones go take their nap or chill out, the kids will all get together and they get out their notepads together and we do a business meeting.

Speaker 2: 17:03

We look at our family calendar, what's coming up? Because they got to be responsible, because don't be asking me a bunch of questions throughout the week. You know what I'm saying Like, don't ask me a bunch of questions throughout the week. You know what I'm saying. Like, don't ask me a bunch of questions about the routine and all of that. Look on the calendar.

Speaker 2: 17:21

But what I love is that they are taking initiative, planning out when they can work, when they're going to work out. But this week in particular, I said, hey, we're going to go walk, we're going to go pray for each other, and we've never done this before, like dad will pray or one kid will pray, and I had every kid do a um, a prayer request, even our kid who has a little bit of special needs, he's. He gave a request and said, hey, you're going to pray to the kid to your left and it was like, so good, yeah, and watching like an eight year old pray for their brother, yeah, other than the nuts, you know. But like also like understand the importance of like hey we're going to, like, lift each other up.

Speaker 2: 17:56

Yeah, like that. That's a real thing. And watching that all happen. I'm like I gotta and I have to hold onto those little glimpses of, like, the kingdom of God in our, in our home for sure.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Yeah, if there's one thing I've absorbed is you guys are very good about creating a team atmosphere in your family.

Speaker 2: 18:12

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 18:12

You're very intentional and you're very integrated. Yeah, and I absolutely love that we may talk about this a little more later. How do you, how do, how does electronics impact?

Speaker 2: 18:24

what you're creating in your family. Yeah, I think, and everyone's every parent is probably different in how they view electronics, and I don't want to, and it's almost like a very sensitive subject.

Speaker 1: 18:38

Yeah, this isn't a right or wrong Right and it's a sensitive subject for parents in general.

Speaker 2: 18:44

I have watched countless friends and that their kids are struggling in school and are bullied or just obsessed and not willing to come out of their room and I'm like if you could change the environment and get that, get that phone out of their hands, that will solve 90% of your problems. I totally agree. And so we have taken an approach where we they don't get a cell phone till high school. The cell phone has been no social media till they graduate high school.

Speaker 1: 19:12

Cheers.

Speaker 2: 19:13

Love it Because and so that was the thing for Sarah and I we had to. Honestly, we had social media, enjoyed using it, had a good following. But then we looked at our life and like, do we want this for our kids? Do we think this is helpful in building them up? Yep, because I watch all my teenage, all their friends and every everyone you go around is like they're just scrolling.

Speaker 1: 19:34

Yeah, they're hanging out on a couch, but they're not really hanging out, they're on their phones and it's and they don't know how to have any conversations.

Speaker 2: 19:43

I teach a a psychology class at a community college 10 years ago. Kids would come in talk, interact. Now it's like quiet, quiet, every single kid's heads down. And then I have them get into groups and participate and they can't even say a word to each other. It is scary, because this becomes their security blanket. This, this phone, becomes their um, the screen becomes their, their best friend and and the anxiety is so high I don't know how to interact. So I'm going to do that. So we've said it's a pacifier it's a passive.

Speaker 2: 20:12

Yeah, it's a comfy comfort blanket so a couple things we do we do tech free sundays. Yeah, no, no technology on sundays. They hated that first and now they end up. I know I wouldn't say they love. They say they would never say they love it they embrace it, embrace it yeah yeah, it's a good hard. Yeah, um, that you can't text the opposite sex, um, until you get to high school, because one of my sons wanted to, or actually they're 16.

Speaker 2: 20:38

They can drive, because I want you to learn how to talk to someone in person. You don't just get to have a relationship with someone on their phone. Young kids nowadays. What they do he says my friend at school what he does is he talks, he texts his girl all day day long and then they are at school and they walk by each other, don't even look at each other.

Speaker 1: 20:58

but then they'll be texting how sad it is.

Speaker 2: 21:00

So sad, so sad. So you're like you got to learn to make eye contact with a girl. You got to learn to make like, talk to people and have uncomfortable conversations because that's part of life, yes, like you just don't get to be. I mean, maybe down in the AI world now you can just have VR relationships. I'm like that's not, that's not going to fulfill your soul and that's not going to become a family team long-term.

Speaker 1: 21:23

Have you read the book? Or the anxious generation? Yeah, it's, it's, it's a. I highly recommend it.

Speaker 2: 21:29

Yeah, it, it. I highly recommend it. Yeah, it paints probably the clearest picture and the most sobering picture of what these screens do to our kids. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:38

And to us, yes, like the addiction and then it becomes anxiety, but it actually has like withdrawals from this and, yeah, we got to really be careful with that. So we have it like lockdown screen time. Yep, we check the kids phones, uh, or that are high school. Um, yeah, I think the the normal things I I still have to do spot checks to the kids all the time. Yeah, yeah, they plug them up, they plug them in their room. I got one, my one son. I was uh, yeah, I tried to sneak it and the next week he didn't have a door in his bedroom and that sucks to suck.

Speaker 1: 22:16

Right, it does. Yeah, it's a normal consequence. Yep, um, I have noticed that. You know, you and I were talking at lunch. We're both very particular about who we spend our quality time with outside of our families. Uh, I, I've always trying to surround myself with people that I think are going to raise me up. Um, and I, you know I'll invest in others, but the people like my closest circle you know we were talking about Jesus he had his closest three and then he has 12 disciples. I'm extremely particular about who's those three in those 12 are.

Speaker 1: 22:49

Uh, I've noticed that, at least in for men. I think it might be different for women that my close circle is. A lot of them aren't even on social media. Yeah, have you noticed that? Or they're, yeah, like like they eat. They might have a facebook account, yeah, but they haven't posted in six months like they're. And maybe it's just because my friends are in their 40s and maybe, you know, some of them are in their 50s now. Um, but it's interesting to me that this whole everyone's on social media thing. It really doesn't. In my opinion, it doesn't really apply to men that I consider lions.

Speaker 2: 23:28

Yeah, that's actually really true. Like, yeah, my three closest friends actually don't have social media at all and yeah, I never gave that much thought. But I think that maybe comes a crutch and maybe that's not the type of people that you want to associate with. I don't know, I haven't given that much thought, but that's. I think that the men that I want to surround myself with are too busy and have their priorities too focused, that that just scrolling is not doesn't reach the cut. So even for me, we had a good following. Uh, we were like I would notice myself. I have nine kids, four companies, hundreds of employees.

Speaker 1: 24:07

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:07

And I had a moment to go look to see how a post was performing.

Speaker 1: 24:11

Yes.

Speaker 2: 24:12

What a waste.

Speaker 1: 24:13

What a waste. What a waste of my life.

Speaker 2: 24:15

Yeah, I was like, yes, that's how, that's what I want for my kids. Yeah, Because for me it's so. It's easy for me to make change when I say like, okay, when I look at my kid's life, I want them to stand on my shoulders. Yes, so when I think of legacy, I'm thinking, okay, my kids, I've done better than my dad, who struggled with addiction who came from a really terrible family and he did the best he could and I'm standing on his shoulders.

Speaker 2: 24:41

But my kids now need to stand on my shoulders and, in far surpass me, um, be a lion, run, be able to change the change the world in the kingdom that they're in. Yeah, work hard, have grit and okay, if I want them to stand on my shoulders and have a legacy and they're building their own family, do are going to waste their time on social media or just being on electronics around there, because I mean that I don't see that working out great for them.

Speaker 1: 25:12

Yeah, I think every parent probably wants their kids to stand on their shoulders. But I think a lot of parents take the approach of I want them to have an easier life than I had, and there's some things that I want to be a little bit easier for my kids. But honestly, because of the success that Beck and I have experienced, we actually are very intentional to add in some adversity to our kids' lives. What's your take on that?

Speaker 2: 25:40

Yeah, I mean like for me. My whole life as a kid I did all the yard work for my mom, mom and all the neighbors, and now I have a yard guy. So that's not a great picture for my kids, Right.

Speaker 1: 25:53

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:54

So it's like, okay, how do I intentionally teach them how to do this Right? So yeah, I mean we have a mantra in our family and it's actually this huge banner that we have in our gym and my kids roll their eyes and we say centers do hard things, centers do hard things. You got to dig deep, you got to like it's got to suck. So it starts off as simple as in the gym for us. You need to bring your, because being physical activity for any young person to full exhaustion is reorients their mind. For sure um.

Speaker 2: 26:29

Number two is they always have to see like I can't be sitting on the couch just not doing anything. Uh, when the kids are all doing their chores, they need to see an example. So, uh, one of the other things that is I have to be super intentional with when I have some level of success. I may not have to, but I'm like all right. Hey, um, we were cleaning out one of our group homes. I could have had our we have a maintenance department that could do that. But I said, hey, kids, we're gonna go clean this and I want to clean that.

Speaker 1: 27:00

Oh no, not at all yeah, but guess what?

Speaker 2: 27:03

we all went over there and we busted our butt and sweat and we say, hey, there's, this is the center standard. They clean it. Is this the center standard? No, like, we have to infuse that. And I the only way to create adversity that I know, is I have to honestly model it as the parent as well, and I can't. I have to show them that it sucks for me, like when I'm doing lunges and I went almost throughout this morning. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, they need, but those boys need to see it that centers put in hard work. Yep, centers do hard things because it builds resilience and builds grit for their life, and they know that. Then their bar is here.

Speaker 2: 27:40

When anxiety, the anxious generation, their bar is super low. Anytime they're stressed out, they have a test coming up. They think, oh, I have anxiety, I have to stop. No, you just haven't had a chance to have enough adversity to know where your lid is. Kids are much more resilient and resourceful than we give them credit for and they have to put in that effort. And they got to put in the work.

Speaker 1: 28:05

Yeah, it's so good. So let's talk about raising godly, bold men and young men in an anxious generations. How are you helping your sons deal with anxiety, screen addiction and culture's mixed messages without raising them in?

Speaker 2: 28:18

fear. Yeah, that's a good question.

Speaker 1: 28:22

Especially since I feel like, uh, you know, masculinity has been uh denigrated for probably 50 years or so right I mean to the point where if you hear masculinity, it's almost synonymous with toxic right and in in in the bible. God's intention for masculinity is anything but toxic. It's kind of like when people say servant, leader. Like servant is part of leader right Toxic is not part of masculinity, like biblical masculinity, like it really is the same thing.

Speaker 2: 28:57

Yeah. So it's like, yeah, helping my boys understand that they are called like as a man. So it's like, yeah, helping my boys understand that they are called like as a man. They're actually called into leadership. Like this is part this is not a, this is just part of the way God has designed you to do. Like, yes, we serve, yes, we lead, we step out front, we do the hard thing first. It can be as simple as we're up at, we're on our family vacation in Cancun and we're going, we're snorkeling in the jungle through this river and it's like the kids there are a couple of the kids and the younger ones were terrified and even the boys were a little bit like what's in there?

Speaker 2: 29:47

I'm like so I jump in and the kids jump in and they they're thinking this is pretty cool. And we're kind of snorkeling through and all of a sudden you see all these storm clouds come rolling in. We're deep in this jungle and then you hear light, you see lightning and the thunder's coming. You're like my heart's starting to race. I'm like what the what are we gonna do? And then I'm like kids swim. So we are swimming full speed and the kids are just going after it.

Speaker 2: 30:07

And I know my wife is holding our grandson in a tube because she gave up on the snorkel an hour and a half earlier. So she's holding onto my leg as I'm trying to swim to get to shore. And then my other two boys are way out there ready to get to shore. And I'm like get your butt back there and help out your little brother and your little sister. So it's like forcing them just like oh hey, as young men we're called to serve, it's not all about ourselves. Even when you want to survive, even when lightning is coming, get back there. And we got to go. And then guess what I do? I pump them up. Dude, you saved your brother.

Speaker 2: 30:49

Oh you are the man High five and you, like it pumps them up Like, oh, you're doing the right thing. You know what I mean. You're teaching your kids that like, hey, this is what I'm designed to do.

Speaker 1: 30:54

Yeah, yeah, that's what you praise gets repeated right.

Speaker 2: 30:57

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:57

I mean, you know this because you have hundreds of employees, but a lot of times we forget that with our kids, right yeah?

Speaker 2: 31:03

How do you help? And our wife, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 31:06

How do you help instill confidence and boldness into your boys Especially? Once again, I feel like confidence and boldness are very much looked down upon in our culture, especially for boys. We actually praise it in young girls. And I think as a rule, as a general rule yeah, boys should be meek.

Speaker 2: 31:25

Yeah, like, and that's like the exact opposite. Yeah, it's uh, a lot of my kids are in sports, um, so that's for me that's an easy way to build confidence in them, but I don't think that's always the best place to do it. Yeah, I don't want to default to that. Yeah, because I have a of kids that are really athletic and the other ones that are not, and they're comparing themselves to the other brothers and that becomes a thing.

Speaker 2: 31:49

But it's honestly whenever I see my kids doing hard things that I have to like pump it up. Yeah, and it's when my kid who has a little bit of special needs he's praying in the circle Dude.

Speaker 1: 32:04

And I go up to him after dude. That was the best prayer I've heard in weeks.

Speaker 2: 32:06

He's like man, that is awesome, like that's building up confidence and it's like finding those little moments I always call him, like I tell it with my kids, my staff, like we have like these when we're reinforcing behavior. We have junk food compliments. A lot of teachers we give kids junk food, like here's some tortilla chips. Oh, that's not good. Yeah, it feels good in the moment but it doesn't sustain you. Like a burger would. Junk food compliments hey, good job, way to go, nice work, like for what? Nice job for what? Like that doesn't fulfill me. It's like if I say to Kevin I really appreciate how intentional you are as a, as a husband and as a dad. Yeah, I really see how you really put effort into making sure your boys are raised up to the next level.

Speaker 2: 32:54

It hits different. Yep, it's different. It's different. So, young, like our boys, we need to be hyper-focused and catch it right in the moment. And we know this. I think, we feel it, but I think, as men, especially boys, need to hear it from their dads or from male role models more than anyone else, because there's always a place in the heart for a 13 year old and their question that this boy is asking themselves is am I enough, am I a man, am I good enough? That is the longing of every young man's heart. Yeah, and the risk is that, come to the future, come when they're 30 and 40 years old, they still don't know. Am I enough?

Speaker 1: 33:33

How important is it for men and young men to have community with other lions? You know I call them lions or eagles are kind of the two animal analogies I use for the type of men that I want to hang out with.

Speaker 2: 33:46

Yeah, I mean yeah, cause you, uh, a dad, can kind of speak into a kid's life in one way. But it's so interesting and my, uh, my boys are doing an internship. Um, they're working in, uh, our company and they're doing maintenance and they go fix like ceiling fans in our homes or fix. My son came home yesterday he said I installed a, a faucet. Heck, yeah, dude, that's awesome, like, and I was super intentional with who I put him with. Absolutely it was this one of our techs who loves the lord, works his butt off and uh could speak into him. And guess what this guy says? The same things I do, but they, you wouldn't believe what he taught me today. I'm like, dude, I've been telling you this for six years, you know, but it's so important, yeah, they need different angles of it. Yeah, I think as I've gotten older and like maybe it's just the sheer number of my kids I have to be so intentional of the company I keep my kids as.

Speaker 2: 34:41

I have to be so intentional of the company I keep and I look at their, their, their kids and how they're they are as well, and say like, hey, can we bring them into our inner, inner circle? Because I need to continue to like, let every moment be building them up and not breaking them down.

Speaker 1: 35:01

Yeah, I've noticed with my oldest son, who's 18, as he has like starting to spend time with some of my adult friends outside of me. How does that feel it's? It's actually pretty darn cool because you know and I'm I'm getting feedback from my friends and it's just so cool because it just you know he's hanging, hanging around with my friends and it's just so cool because it just you know he's hanging hanging around with my friends and I'm, like I said, very particular about who I spend time with. So these are men that I trust and I know that the conversations and just the confidence you know I mean think back to. I mean, like I'm trying to remember, you know, hanging around with any of my dad's friends. I don't necessarily remember doing that, but if I did, I think I would have felt pretty darn cool and very grown up. I mean, you know my son's 18, so he's technically a grown up, but just hanging out with you know quality men on his own is it's amazing.

Speaker 2: 35:54

Yeah, they have. My boy, one of my close friends, is uncle Gary, we call him, and he's a firefighter, also owns a business, and I love when one of my boys gets to talk to him about firefighting because I'm like I see so much of that in him and getting that one-on-one time with them is priceless for sure.

Speaker 1: 36:13

Yeah, all right, let's talk about family as a kingdom team on mission. You don't just run businesses, you run them with your family. How do you view your entire household as a team on mission? You don't just run businesses, you run them with your family. How do you view your entire household as a team on a mission, not just a collection of individuals? Because I feel like, overall, the American family is really just a bunch of individuals, you know, with their noses buried in their phones and electronics, that happen to have the same last name and live under the same roof.

Speaker 2: 36:37

Yeah, isn't that scary.

Speaker 2: 36:39

It in it and I think that's the way like we have produced it. The american dream is like you, you do you, you you get to become the most successful version of yourself. Um, we will support it, um, but we want everyone to just become their, their best self. Yep and I. I just don't see that in scripture, I don't see that in the Bible. There's like, there is this, such, this honor of like having a family legacy. And as I and I think about today's world is like it's too hard to do this on your own. It's too expensive, it's too stressful, there's too much pressure. How in the world could someone just be totally isolated and just do it on their own? So for us, we think about our family as like, hey, we have to be doing this together, as a team. I even use the word team language because we're like a family. That's a team. When I say a team, it's like we're not just comfortable, we're on a mission together. Teams have a goal.

Speaker 2: 37:38

So us as the center's team, some of our values is to help expand God's kingdom and help the most vulnerable. So for us, one of our missions is that we help individuals with disabilities. So we'll host when we take all of our special needs individuals to a summer camp. We don't need to hire staff, we have the staff. It's my kids and the other staff's kids and they're there to serve.

Speaker 2: 38:07

They host, they practice for the talent show, they help serve the food. And whenever we talk about the end of summer, their highlight of the summer, without a doubt, is not just, I mean, probably going in the jungle and almost getting electrocuted is a highlight, right, but one of the other highlights is hey, when I was talking to this guy who has in one of our homes that has disability, and I got him to dance during our dance party, dude, that was a win. And when one of our young people got baptized in the ocean during our family vacation like that, that, honestly, when those words come out of my kids mouth, when it's not about them and it's about others, okay, we're doing the right, we're on the right path here.

Speaker 1: 38:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 38:51

And I'm like so I'm always as the dad, trying to create moments where I can help create a team atmosphere. We were working together towards a goal. Yeah, can help create a team atmosphere. We were working together towards a goal and I just happened to use my businesses as like I got limited time and we're building assets together as a team, but like using that as as a goal together. It's like last week I'm watching I take my two my daughter and my son to our senior care homes and we're going to the home and we do activities in the morning before they take their lunch and take kind of a rest time. And these they're most vulnerable. They have a lot of them have dementia, um, and we're playing uno. We got these massive uno cards and that was pretty sweet, yeah, uh. But then afterwards I got bring my microphone and our karaoke machine. I say hey, we're gonna do us uh, karaoke. Uh, my, my mom, who helps out to keep the generations going, she's like this is gonna be so lame, ryan.

Speaker 2: 39:52

I'm like now it's awesome and all of a sudden, what happens is we all the seniors get in a circle. I have my daughter, my son, practicing sweet Sweet Caroline in the car. They barely know the song. They're all nervous. I got to use the mic, yeah, you got to use the mic, and we literally had to practice the song four times. We waited to go in the house because we got to practice two more times. Great, we get in the house. They sing Sweet Caroline, everyone's loving it. I had two elderly who are staying in their rooms hear us singing, come out and then, over and over again, they're passing the mic to all the different elderly and they're singing these 1950s songs I have I have no idea what these songs are but I'm dancing with it, yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:33

And at the very end one of our um, our caregivers, says to he says, can I sing? I'm like heck, yeah, he's from the Philippines and he says can I sing Amazing Grace? I was like, yes, let's do it. So he starts singing Amazing Grace and it became church. Everyone got quiet and I look over and there's this elderly woman at the end who has been living in this home for the last year and a half with her husband and her husband has Alzheimer's and he just passed away a month ago and I watched tears streaming down her face as he's singing Amazing Grace and the song ends and I go up to her and my kids come near me and we all pray for her, like on our in. We actually we never prayed in the house before, but it was just like a moment to do it.

Speaker 2: 41:25

And it was just one lady said I've never had this older ladies. I've never had this feeling before. I'm like it's because God's here. Yeah, he loves you very much. Yeah, and my kids are like. I felt like Jesus in the weirdest way.

Speaker 1: 41:41

I'm like yes, you did.

Speaker 2: 41:42

Yeah, and I'm like, I'm like those are moments they're just like, hey, it's just being open to like to just go be a team together and try to serve together. And I'm always like, hey, how do I create a opportunity for my kids to experience God, to do hard things? And then also like, if it happens to help financially in the future, that's great too. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:08

What would you say to people? Because what you're talking about is marketplace ministry. Right, you run these. You run some nonprofit stuff and some for-profit stuff, Exactly. Do you feel bad, making a profit not at all, and used to.

Speaker 2: 42:21

Okay, used to okay, I used to be like um, I used to feel like it was a dirty word, yeah, but then I came like I have to do well and do good. Yes, and I have to. Um, I have to be accountable, like god has called me to raise up this family, and we have to make sure, like this, this continues on for a long time and I got to make sure that they, yeah, work hard but we can. It's not, it's not, it's not God the ungodly to make money Right, like God has given a gift of generosity and he needs people to make money, to be also to be generous.

Speaker 1: 42:53

Yeah, Cause there's for any, just about anything that anyone could do. Yeah, there's going to be some people in it that really don't care about the people they're serving. They're just there to make a buck, yeah. And then there's going to be other people who could take your approach. You're like yeah, I'm here. I mean you have to invest in the homes and the training and the staff. Yes, Right, that costs you something. And then you can say you know what? I'm going to maximize every opportunity I have to love on these people.

Speaker 2: 43:20

Yeah, and that's honestly why, like my wife and I started a full, separate nonprofit.

Speaker 2: 43:25

We don't collect a dollar from it. We have two employees that work on it but it makes a huge impact and for us we want to direct like, and guess who the biggest donor is? My wife and I and of this nonprofit and we just help kids who have aged out of foster care system. They work at our restaurant, they work at our um. We don't make a dollar from that. All of it goes is help train these young people how to work and have the skills to be able to move forward in life.

Speaker 1: 43:56

What's the name of that?

Speaker 2: 43:56

nonprofit. Uh, it's called friends of Ohana.

Speaker 1: 43:58

Okay.

Speaker 2: 43:59

Yep, and we have um a little, um little cafe in city hall of Peoria, partnership with the city, and uh, yeah, we have a workforce development and we do life launch there where the kids come in um and do a day, uh, of learning not just resume building and job skills, but how to have interpersonal skills. You get the food handlers card, they get to learn how to make coffee and then hopefully that inspires them and then we end up hiring a bunch of them to work, work there. And some of the best baristas in Arizona are there and you didn't. No one knows that they aged out of foster care, yeah, but they are. My hope is that they end up becoming the next general manager or we help them launch their own coffee truck, and that would be a really, really great day.

Speaker 1: 44:43

Yeah and talk about there's a stigma for kids that come out of the foster care system right, I mean very similar to people who you know serve their time in jail or prison and then are trying to find a job. Talk about that.

Speaker 2: 44:56

Yeah, I mean, I don't know the recent statistics. On average in Arizona about 800 kids age out of foster care every year. Age out means they have no family, no permanent support. You're 18.

Speaker 2: 45:09

On your own On your own, like I couldn't do that on my own. And now, in today's world, how do you do it? So, and we know that bad company corrupts good characters. So like, if they're around a bunch of hard kids, they're just they're going to follow along with that, but in reality is like these are just kids that simply need direction and purpose and someone to invest in them, and they are some of the most resourceful, um hungry kids I've ever met.

Speaker 2: 45:41

So for us, like Sarah and I, as part of our nonprofit, we've committed just like how do we help train these young people up to make a difference in the world? How do we teach them skills? We have kids working in our maintenance department learning trades, like and I want you to be the best painter in the world and you're 19 years old, who cares your age on foster care? But guess what? You're going to change your family tree and you get to do that. So those are like, as we think about it, we're like hey, how do we as Christians, as our family, how do we change the family tree for these people? And how do we change? It's changing society in multiple generations and making our culture better, and we just need to give them these skills and purpose to make it happen.

Speaker 1: 46:25

So good, so good. Let's talk about Friends of Ohana and the golf tournament.

Speaker 2: 46:32

Yes, dude, you're a golfer. I know I am.

Speaker 1: 46:34

Yeah, I'm actually. I didn't realize you had this, so I'm looking forward to participating.

Speaker 2: 46:39

Yeah, so we have our, our annual, first annual. We're just a little baby nonprofit. Okay, so it's our first annual um, uh, golf tournament, Uh, we are. Uh, all the money goes a hundred percent to our workforce development so it helps kids, um, do these trade programs, do our life launch program, and then gets them into Hanai working and supports them towards independence. So they have. The kids are typically 18 to 21 in the program and the golf tournament September. When is it September?

Speaker 1: 47:13

And I'll put the link in the show notes as well.

Speaker 2: 47:16

Yeah, it's in September. Yeah, you'll have to check it out. September 19th, yes, yes, september 19th. Uh, yeah, you can check it out. It's always called foster the future, okay, um, yeah, it's going to be a great, great time. We have, uh, paying donated clubs, nice. We have tons of great prizes, uh, food, drinks, all the things so awesome very cool, very cool.

Speaker 1: 47:41

Well, ryan, one of the things I've been doing is this car cigars, guns and guitars, just kind of lighten it up. Four of my favorite manly topics. Uh, and I I also would add I love golf and I love poker, um, but it just doesn't go with kind of the alliteration. So, um, your favorite car either you have currently, you've ever had, or maybe your dream car, I, I love my truck.

Speaker 2: 48:00

I love my truck. Right now I have a um a lightning f-150. Okay, I think you were in front of me, yeah, yeah, today you were slow okay.

Speaker 1: 48:08

No, you went the wrong direction.

Speaker 2: 48:10

Uh favorite cigar favorite, whatever one you buy for me. Okay, yeah, got it, you just.

Speaker 1: 48:15

Yes, you're not picky, I'm not picky very good, very good Favorite gun.

Speaker 2: 48:20

I only own one gun. It's a Glock 9mm. Okay, so yeah, and I got it during the 2020 years.

Speaker 1: 48:29

Yeah, you kind of had a target on your back, huh. For whatever reason, you're a controversial character, I guess, so it's weird. I mean you do so much good. It's absolutely crazy. Favorite guitar or guitarist Do you play guitar?

Speaker 2: 48:40

I do not play guitar, but I feel like I should being in your podcast studio. I like drinking a nice whiskey on my porch listening to Chris Stapleton. That's as good as you're going to get from me.

Speaker 1: 48:55

Very good. No, that's it. It's kind of a fun way to learn more about our guests. So how can people follow? I know you're actually spending very little time on social media, so do you have any links to share at all, or a website?

Speaker 2: 49:07

You can. Yeah, you can go to our our nonprofit website, ohanafriendsorg, to find out more about our nonprofit. That's our best way. Yeah, you can follow me on LinkedIn. I go on there occasionallyasionally, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 49:22

Yeah, I find myself, uh, since I got kicked off of Facebook, using LinkedIn more and more, um, and I actually like it, cause it's much less toxic than Facebook ever was. So, yeah, um, you know, and I just want to invite people to support Ohana Um. Is that like, if people want to support your nonprofit work you're doing with doing with foster kids, what is the best website for them to go to?

Speaker 2: 49:45

Yeah, ohana, friendsorg is the best one. Obviously, we have a tax credit. We're because the five one C three and do a tax credit, but we're super excited for the golf tournament. If you want to be a sponsor, we're looking for a couple more corporate sponsors for businesses or just a foursome or something like that, or a foursome or something like that or a foursome okay income. Uh, we have. I think we have like 20 more, maybe like 10 more foursomes okay available.

Speaker 1: 50:07

Yeah, it'd be a fun, fun event okay, um, and I just you know I definitely want to encourage beck and I aren't currently supporting we have in the past many times and love what you guys do and you and I are at lunch. We're just talking about the fact that there's, you know, there's some higher profile nonprofits that do great work. We're not bashing them, but they're high profile and it's easy for them to generate, or easier for them to generate. They have the ability to reward their donors at a level where it's you almost sometimes question why are people giving? And and yet you've got a simple, grassroots nonprofit like what you guys have the reward for giving to, something like Ohana. Honestly, you're going to find on the other side of eternity and in the stories I mean, you've shared some things with me and they're incredibly heartwarming experiences and just, uh, you know, paychecks of the heart for investing in the cool work that you guys are doing.

Speaker 1: 51:09

Yeah, I mean one of our well thank you.

Speaker 2: 51:11

And, yeah, one of our uh, our brew crew baristas. Um, yeah, she, just she came over. I was so excited to share with me from her paycheck, from working hard and now is becoming the assistant manager of Hanai, saved up her own money to buy her first car and now she comes in and that thing is so clean and perfect and that is a real like. That is a moment for a young person to develop a sense of confidence and pride and ownership for herself. Like that that lives on. So I look at her coming in her car and that she's done.

Speaker 2: 51:47

And that was through the nonprofit Cause we, we give coat, uh, job coaches. They have a lot of deficits sometimes when they're, they don't have the skills and they didn't have a parents to teach them these things. So we're coming alongside and help coaching them up and help, yeah, reimburse the rate to make sure that they can, because we can't, yeah, to help reimburse for their hourly rate. But watching her now have the skills to be able to do this and the smile on her face, I'm like all right, this is worth it.

Speaker 2: 52:19

It's changing your life, it's like one kid at a time.

Speaker 1: 52:22

Well, ryan, thanks so much for making the long haul. I know and for those who live in Phoenix. We're on opposite corners of the greater Phoenix area and we almost never venture into each other's neighborhoods. We'd spend a lot more time together if we lived closer.

Speaker 2: 52:35

That's true. I would wear a lot more tank tops if I was over here with you.

Speaker 1: 52:40

It is definitely my shirt of choice, my uniform of choice. But thanks so much. You know I have tremendous respect for you. I appreciate what you're doing. You know it takes a lot to. You know, to invest, to start a nonprofit, to start the businesses you have. It takes a lot of courage, a lot of faith and you're taking risk. And those who can just donate and support honestly have the easy job. The ones who are doing the work, I think, have the much tougher job. But I'm just so grateful for you because you're an uncommon man who's intentionally raising uncommon men and uncommon young ladies and you're investing in so many kids and even investing in the generation that's kind of in, you know, the, the generation that's kind of at the end of their life. They're in the sunset, but you can still make an impact. So thanks so much for being here, bro.

Speaker 2: 53:29

Appreciate it, thanks.