Designing a Life of Intentional Stewardship Through Discipline

Speaker 1: 0:07

I graduated with my bachelor's. My wife managed to get her masters in that same amount of time. She joined me and I became a Marine Corps officer and we spent most of that time in Okinawa, japan, and once again, it was a great opportunity to plug into our church and build community and work on our marriage. We spent a lot of time apart and learned a lot of lessons about what to do and what not to do in those early years. And then when I got on the Marine Corps because I went in the Marines loving my country but knowing so here's a little tidbit about Kevin I like to enforce rules, I don't like to follow rules, so that is not a good career choice. The Marine Corps is not a good career choice for someone like that. So then I became a police officer, where you enforce rules and you have to follow them some of the time, but you really do get to enforce a lot of rules, and that was amazing for five years. And then I hit the wall. I was completely burned out. But this photo here is just how we spent most of our holidays. This was Thanksgiving of 2012, shortly before I left law enforcement, but we were enjoying Thanksgiving together as a family at the police department with all my coworkers and the normal MO on a holiday was we'd meet up in the Home Depot parking lot or I'd be on patrol and I'd go trick-or-treating with my kids for a few minutes at the shopping center, and I was grateful that I could actually see my kids, that I wasn't deployed to Iraq or something like that, missing out and seeing them at all. But that is not how I wanted to spend holidays on a regular basis. And if there's any first responders or military here, thank you for your service. I appreciate the sacrifice that you make.

Speaker 1: 1:52

And then, in 2011, my wife made a pivotal decision in the video it talks about. We had three boys in less than four years and she decided to get healthy. And I'm going to talk about seven disciplines today and I'm encouraging all of you to think about what is the one thing that could have the biggest impact in your life, that could totally change the trajectory of your life, because for my wife and I, this was it. You can see the photo. You can't quite tell how much weight I lost. I'm down about 45 pounds from that picture on the right than it was on the left. Beck is down about 35. And this was several months after we both chose to get healthy. But it was the point at which I can look back on our life and say, whatever chapter we were in, you know, in the photo on the left, this chapter on the right, it's brand new and it's a beautiful story. The chapter on the left lead the foundation for the chapter on the right, but this is like a turning point where this single, seemingly inconsequential decision had a huge impact. But, and then we decided to move to Arizona in 2016. That was a quality of life decision. So I'm going to talk about what we call lifestyle design. And then, obviously, from the video, you saw that that led us to the opportunity to adopt our beautiful daughter, eve. And if you think she's cute in that video, she's even cuter now as a six year old. So and then, okay, so onto the important stuff.

Speaker 1: 3:23

Scripture in Matthew 7, 13 through 14, jesus says enter by the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the way is easy. That leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many, for the gate is narrow and the way is hard. That leads to life and those who find it are few. And one of the key things for us to understand that on earth. Obviously, jesus is talking about the gate to heaven eternal life but I think it applies to our life here on earth as well, and that is that life will be hard, right, I know some people who take the path that they think will be easy.

Speaker 1: 4:02

The difference is they experience pain at a different time. We can experience the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. And when you apply the scripture to our life here on earth, that's really what we're talking about. And the fruit of regret is bitter, right. Divorce, addiction, wayward children, potentially. I mean, we don't control our children as much as we try, but if you didn't invest in them the way that God intended, you're much more likely to have issues with that. So that is the fruit of regret. And the fruit of discipline is sweet. Right, it's a marriage I was talking to. I think her name was Judy, married to Tom, 52 years, and she was just talking about did I get those names right? Look at that. I'm horrible with names, but she's like the key is respect, kevin, when my husband tells a story in public, I don't correct him, right, so, but it was just, it was so sweet.

Speaker 1: 5:06

So, and then in John 10, 10, jesus says the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it more abundantly. So the Lord doesn't just want an abundant life for us for eternity. I really do believe he wants an abundant life for us here on earth. Now I know a lot of us. When we hear abundance, we think prosperity, gospel, big bank account and, honestly, in America, if you don't have a sufficient bank account, a lot of times it's because it's our fault, right? You're irresponsible with debt, you don't work hard enough, you want things to come easy. You're spending your money on lottery tickets instead of investing it in your 401K or something like that. But this isn't just about financial abundance. It has to do with abundant time, resources, and I think everyone has different gifts and inclinations, and so I think one of my gifts is giving, and you have to have something to give it away, and but other people are really good at giving their time away and serving. So just being abundant with whatever God calls you to do.

Speaker 1: 6:23

One of the reasons I think that many of us struggle is that we don't know what God's will is for our life, as anyone else, like man. What is God's will? I don't know what to do. I've been there many times and then, over time and through, just like some amazing mentors and pastors. And then this great book that's called what Is God's Will for my Life by a pastor and author, john Orpher. He says that God's primary will for your life is not the circumstances that you inhabit, it's the person you become. His will is that we become a magnificent person and God's image, somebody with the character of Jesus. Ultimately, that is God's will for our life.

Speaker 1: 7:12

So if you're in a job that you don't like, is it okay to pursue something else? Absolutely. But God's will is that in that job that you don't like, you still look like and show up like Jesus, okay. If you're in a marriage that you don't like, all right. You think, man, I married the wrong woman. That is not your. Get out of jail, free card to divorce her. All right. God's will for you now is to be like Jesus to her, because you said I do, okay, and zero judgment on anyone who's been divorced. But if you have this mentality, hopefully your current marriage will be your last marriage until one of you passes away. All right. So for this is the will of God.

Speaker 1: 8:01

This is 1 Peter, 2, 15 through 16, that by doing good, you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover up for evil, but living as servants of God. You know, we have freedom and we're supposed to use it for good. Pastor Will and I were having a conversation a couple nights ago about a documentary about a church that really detracts from Christianity. And you look at it, you contrast that to a church like the garden. The foolish people they can't say anything bad about you all because of the amazing ministry that you run. I mean, it is so obvious that you care about God's people, the untouchables, right. The people that most of us don't want to invite over to our house. If we're really honest, right. And Pastor Will and Amanda, they keep the food in their fridge at their house so that when people need it they can come over and get it if they need to. That is the freedom.

Speaker 1: 9:10

So are we?

Speaker 1: 9:11

And then in Ephesians 515 through 17,. Real quick. So are we doing good in Jesus's name and do we embrace the irony of living a life of freedom as a servant of God? Right? So that's where the true freedom is, but we're the servant to God. In Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 15 through 17,.

Speaker 1: 9:36

The scriptures say look carefully, then, how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil, are they not Holy smokes? Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. So the questions we need to ask ourselves is are we using our time wisely to serve others and expand the kingdom, or are we being foolish? There's so many opportunities to be foolish in today's world. Right, scrolling social media, binging on all the streaming services that we're many times wasting money on. There's so many things to be foolish with, and I'm not saying that any of that in and of itself is bad. Right, go back to golf. Playing golf isn't bad, but honestly, I would challenge you, unless you're making a living playing golf every single day, that might be a little bit foolish. Right, there's probably a better way to reach people for Jesus. Okay, just be an honest for it, all right.

Speaker 1: 10:37

So let's go back to Matthew 7 real quick, where Jesus talks about the narrow path and the wide path, and I wanna give you a different visual. And our last little bit of time here to consider. I want you to think of the narrow gate as the upstream path okay, swimming upstream, rowing upstream and I want you to think of the wide gate is the downstream path. So if you think about culture, society, especially in America, the wide gate is that's what everyone else is doing, right, it's downstream, it takes no effort, it's what our flesh naturally is, gravitates towards and it's what everyone else is doing all right. Upstream is the opposite. It's the narrow path and when you apply the same principle that Jesus uses for salvation to the actual disciplines that govern our life, everything that you want in this world truly is upstream Right.

Speaker 1: 11:39

When you think about downstream is disease right, lifestyle diseases like potentially diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a lot of other things that we can impact by making healthy choices. In our finances it's bankruptcy, it's being afraid to answer the phone because it's another debt collector. That is downstream behavior. In your marriage it's divorce, or it's not having a healthy, intimate relationship with your spouse and in your parenting it's having kids who resent you or even in today's society, they don't know, they're confused about what gender they are because their mom and dad haven't sewn into their lives. What God teaches us about you are who God created you to be right. That's downstream.

Speaker 1: 12:29

So, will and Amanda, if you'll oblige me again, amanda, I'm gonna have you start. I want you to all imagine no offense. You're downstream for now. The second we walk out this door you're gonna be upstream, all right, but you're all downstream. This is what society is doing, and Amanda is someone who said you know what? I'm going upstream, so she's gonna pretend to row right. It's a little bit awkward. She's got all these downstream people looking at her saying you're weird, right what you sing for Jesus. You take care of the homeless. Wait a minute, you tithe. You actually give your money to a church instead of spending it on another car or something like what's wrong with you?

Speaker 1: 13:09

These are the things that the downstream people say and, honestly, as those boats go by, they try to grab the upstream rower. They try to do it right. How many times have you made progress? And there's people that are going downstream and they try to turn you around and bring you with them. All right, now Pastor Will is gonna join and for the sake of time, I'm only gonna use two, but now he's in the boat with Amanda, the really far part. He makes it look good. But now all the downstream people are really saying what's wrong with him. Right, but it feels a little less awkward for Amanda now, and it's also not as awkward for Will.

Speaker 1: 13:47

And then if we fill up the rest of the boat, yes, there's still a lot of people going downstream, but you have the confidence of saying man, I'm not the only one, I can do this. This is what community is all about. This is what church is for. And here's the other thing Amanda, stop rowing real quick, we'll keep going. They're still going upstream. Okay, so she's gone through something. Amanda and Will, you can have a seat. Thank you so much. But what I want you to see and visualize is that you're going to go through challenges in life that you're gonna just be exhausted. Have you ever been there? Right, like, I can't do this alone. You're right, you can't do it alone. But when you're in the boat with other upstream believers, you're still going upstream. Okay, that's what community is for.

Speaker 1: 14:41

So I want to share real quick the seven upstream disciplines that I think will make a difference in our lives. The first is health, and it's the first because this is the one that had the biggest singular impact on my life. It might not be the same for you, so you can put these in whatever order you want. Your health, I believe, is your first hill to take. Here's why the Lord wants us to maximize our physical health, because it will give us the energy to perform at our best in every facet of life. That's why I believe that health is so important. Right, keep that in mind.

Speaker 1: 15:22

Finances Everything we need to know about abundance and finances can be distilled to one word and it's one of my absolute favorite words, it's one of my life mission statements and that is stewardship. The Bible is filled with masterful lessons on this concept, from multiplying what we've been given to harnessing the compound effect. Right, becca and I, the blessings that we enjoy today are the compound effect of tithing on the. We barely made $1,000 a month in those first years of our marriage. We tithe on that. Could we afford to? No, but God took care of us. Okay, all right. That is the compound effect To living below our means, to God's blessing upon our generosity. Stewardship means resisting debt, resisting impulse spending, keeping up with the Joneses, and it means resisting a lack of discipline in our finances.

Speaker 1: 16:18

Francis Bacon said money is a great servant but a horrible master. And a lot of us, if we're honest, we have served money but it's not a fun master to have. It is a wonderful servant. I heard the saying that money just makes you more of who you already are. Right, money is amoral. Probably one of the most misquoted Bible verses is money is the root of all evil. And that's not what the Bible says. The love of money is the root of all evil. Okay, and so if you're a generous person with a little, you'll be a generous person with a lot, right? That's why broke people who win the lottery, they end up broke again, because they're the same person with a lot of money as they were with a little bit of money. All right, so row upstream Marriage.

Speaker 1: 17:10

The average marriage in America lasts only eight years. The third discipline of marriage is squarely aimed at making sure this doesn't become your story. And if it is, that it's not your story again, okay, because a bulletproof marriage is essential to uncommon freedom. Without a doubt, my happy marriage is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I wouldn't have gotten healthy if it hadn't been for my wife. So I need my marriage absolutely, one of the first things God told us was that it's not good for humans to be alone. And the reality is, god created Adam. He said it was good. He created Eve and he said it was very good. Right, marriage is fundamental to raising godly future generations. Right, we live in a society that's trying to raise the future generations without married parents. That's why we're in the mess that we're in. All right, marriage is fundamental to raising those godly future generations and is also a facet of how we relate to God, with husbands loving our wives as Christ loves the church.

Speaker 1: 18:14

No marriage will be perfect, because we aren't perfect. However, we can always be better. Right, and family? Cs Lewis said children are not a distraction from work. They are the most important work. So no positive impact you can make, right, you can be an awesome missionary pastor. We've all seen these people and they neglect their family. That's why you know no offense. Pks have a bad reputation. Right, because a lot of you know and cops are guilty. Right, a lot of cops end up with kids that are drug addicted in jail because they've neglected that. So our family is so important. No positive impact you can make can balance out the weight you put on society if you neglect your own children. Our children will form their first impressions of how they see God through their interactions with their parents, so it's our sacred duty to raise them well and to love them. Our purpose as parents isn't simply to make our kids happy or raise well-adjusted children. It is to raise them to be godly adults, productive citizens that serve their community, and better spouses and parents than we are today.

Speaker 1: 19:26

Right Community this is about running with lions is the term I want you to think of. When it comes to community, I cannot overstate the importance of finding powerful community. You have it on a macro level in this church, and what I encourage you to do is find it on a micro level, especially for all the different areas of your life that you need to improve. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future right. I was just messaging with a friend who's telling me his marriage is kind of on the rocks and he's like do you have any advice? And he doesn't live local to me and I said first of all, get into counseling. Second of all, who do you know that has a healthy, happy marriage and your underwife need to spend time with those people? And not surprisingly, his answer was. I don't really know anyone, and it didn't surprise me, because we become like the people we spend time with all right. So you need people in your life who will push and support you in the hunt for uncommon freedom. That's why we run with lions instead of hanging with donkeys. That's a nice way of calling them okay, and the crazy thing about this one is it works both ways. So if you're hanging out with donkeys you're going downstream, but if you hang out with lions, you're going upstream.

Speaker 1: 20:44

That's the importance of that Importance of that Spiritual life. This is what I call honor the king. Nothing empties heaven's storeroom of blessing like honoring God. First in all things, he blesses what we dedicate to his purposes, and I can promise you this you cannot outgive, out, serve or out love. God, proverbs 9.10, shares the secret. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the holy. One is understanding. Fear doesn't mean running in terror. It means awe, reverence, respect and honor for the one who is greater than us, the one who created everything and gave us our salvation right. This is why we honor God with our bank accounts, our relationships, our children, our bodies and our health and everything else he's given us. And then the last discipline is lifestyle design.

Speaker 1: 21:38

So uncommon freedom is for people who are determined to build the life they want rather than accept the life they were given. Right, maybe you were born to a single mom. You lack that father figure in your life. Maybe there was even some bad men that came into your life. That doesn't mean that you have to repeat that. God has given us free will and if you choose to not be intentional, the likelihood is you will repeat that cycle of dysfunction. But if you're intentional, god has no issues with us creating a life of greatness.

Speaker 1: 22:18

Right, think about if you're a parent. Are you a good parent If you force your kid, if you're spending time with your kid and you only do what they want, what you want like. I don't have a single child that loves golf, so I don't spend time with my kids playing golf. I play basketball, football and other things with them, right? I would love it if they would want to play golf with me. It'd be a great time. But that's not the loving thing to do, and God doesn't do that to us either. He knows he created us with unique personality, passions and events towards different things, and so he didn't create you to be born to a single mom with violent men in your past. He created you to have both parents. So change that in your family tree, all right.

Speaker 1: 23:07

I personally know the difference between surviving and thriving. And designing the life you want begins long before we are thriving. On paper it starts. You lay the foundation in the early days, when people can't see it, when you don't even know the blessings that are going to come your way. Okay, lifestyle design is not for the material, materially wealthy. It's for people who want to be the dominant force in their lives, right? So, going back to this, I know some people say dominant force.

Speaker 1: 23:37

What about God? I believe God, like he is in control of everything, but he gave us free will. He put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and he told them one thing don't eat the fruit of this tree. But he gave them the permission to make the decision. And we also have the permission to either go upstream or to go downstream. Going upstream is being the dominant force in your life. Going downstream is just accepting what you've been given.

Speaker 1: 24:06

So I want to encourage you to consider the seven disciplines we just talked about Health, finances, marriage, parenting, community, your spiritual life and living a life of intentional design, and ask the Lord or there's a strong possibility that you know which one or two of those disciplines you need to focus on. I don't encourage you to run out of here and say I'm gonna go crazy fixing all seven of these right. Pick one or two, the one or two that will have the biggest impact on your life. Okay, then the next thing to do, in addition to just surrendering it to God and saying God, I need your help with this is to realize you can't do it alone and reach out, identify someone in your life, someone you know that is thriving in that area, and I encourage you to reach out to them and say Will, you've got amazing six pack abs, all right, you look like Arnold and I want to be healthy like you.

Speaker 1: 25:09

Will you mentor me? All right, whatever it is, I'm sorry, just messing with you. Buddy, I love you. No, it's true. Yeah, yeah. So should I pray? Will, are you coming up? All right? So that's what I have for you. Thank you so much, and God bless you all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.