Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey friends, welcome to the Uncommon Freedom Show. I'm Kevin.

Speaker 2: 0:04

And I'm Becca, and we're your hosts, here to help you reach your potential and maximize your impact in every area that matters. Let's get started Before we dive in today. You absolutely need to stick around to the end. We are launching a new free tool called the Uncommon Health Assessment to help you blast past the roadblocks in your health journey, so listen to gain access. Alright, kevin. Now what are we talking about in this episode?

Speaker 1: 0:28

Alright, we're talking about you are who you eat with continuing and wrapping up our summer health challenge, but love that concept. So one of my favorite quotes of all time comes from Jim Rohn. Most of us have heard it many, many times, but it's so important that we need to continue to hear it because of how true it is. Jim said we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

Speaker 1: 0:52

Another author that we talk about on a regular basis is Darren Hardy, and he wrote one of my probably two favorite books, which is called the compound effect. I highly recommend it. I think it's only six chapters long. It's a super quick, easy read. It's something that I read or listen to at the beginning of every single year. But he has this concept called anchors and engines and the. It's probably self explanatory, but I will explain it anyways. An anchor is something or someone that holds you back. It keeps you from making progress, and an engine is someone or something that propels you forward. So anchors and engines, they can be habits, but they can also be people. So today, what we're going to talk about is how people play a role in your health, either helping you get healthier or holding you back and keeping you from not only getting healthier, but potentially propelling you downstream Downstream, towards what we call sickness and disease.

Speaker 2: 1:50

Yes, and actually when I heard Christine came talk, she was talking about the Israelites and moving towards the city of Jericho and just that. You know, god calls people up and out, but our human nature is to go down and back, and so I've been using that a lot just from the Christian view. But in your book you call it running with lions, and it's the same principle. So your community shapes your future, and this is 100% true with your health. So are you ready for some tough truth from a Harvard study? A person's chance of becoming obese increases by 57% If a close friend is obese, 40% if a sibling is obese and 37% if a spouse is obese. So your family, friends, colleagues, etc. Are the community portion of what we call healthy surroundings. I was actually surprised that the spouse wasn't higher than like a close friend, isn't that?

Speaker 1: 2:41

interesting. I thought the same thing. Absolutely, that's very interesting. So you know it's. On the one hand, it is a tough reality there, but on the other hand it's definitely not surprising. Obviously, we've become even more and more cognizant and aware of health, and especially when you look at children, they're very much a product of who their parents are, and that's one of the things.

Speaker 1: 3:07

Occasionally we've talked to some people who are like hey, how do I help my kids get healthy? You know we're talking about, you know, kids who are 12 or older than that, and our answer to them is number one are you healthy? First, because when mom and dad, or at least one of them, gets healthy, that tends to impact the entire family.

Speaker 2: 3:27

So I mean even diabetes used to be called adult onset and now because and this was a statistic we heard years ago kids as young as 10 and 12, and I think it's probably even younger nowadays are being diagnosed with diabetes. They're calling it type two, which is basically a lifestyle related diabetes. And what was the statistic we heard last year at our National Convention for Health Coaching? I think it was that there's 44 million. Is it 4 million? Do you remember?

Speaker 1: 3:55

I don't know.

Speaker 2: 3:57

Kids who are obese, I think or something. The number was staggering. I'll have to find. In fact, check me, please, people.

Speaker 2: 4:03

I'm pretty sure the CDC had that number out last year and at our convention I took a picture of it. I can't remember the exact number, but it was. It brought me to tears because, as a mom, it's something that I think like yes, there's some genetic factors, yes, there's outliers at times, but most of the time, the health of our children at the young age is highly related to how, what kind of home we create, an environment, what we bring home from the grocery store, what we allow to be consumed when we have a lot more stay in it. And it's just heartbreaking to me that kids are. Some kids are really set up for a life of struggle because of the life that they've were brought into, and also many times that's because someone in their parent group was raised like that as well, and so they haven't come in with good habits, they don't know what is good for their body, they're already addicted to food, and the cycle just continues.

Speaker 1: 4:51

So the first question is who do I want in my community?

Speaker 2: 4:55

Yes, well, and when I think about that and we've had experience because we've come from unhealthy communities, we've become healthy.

Speaker 2: 5:01

We've brought a lot of those people with us. Some have stayed and some have gone back and then we've learned to create our own community. So for me it's I would like to have people in my community who have gone before me, so I can see them ahead and I can see where they're going and their lifestyle is attractive to me from a health standpoint, and also people who will go along with me, you know. And so I'm looking for the people that want to grow, want to have abundance, want to have improved relationships, want to have improved physical health. Because those people who are growth-minded again, when I go back to the biblical example, they want to get up and out, not go down and back. And if I'm going down and back, they're gonna call me out and say hey, you know, I see some unhealthy habits in your life, whether it's relational or physical or Marital, you know, just something like that. And the ones that are already going down and back are gonna be pulling me that direction Versus encouraging me to go the other way.

Speaker 1: 5:51

Yeah, and then there's the factor of accountability. Do you want to talk about how accountability plays a factor?

Speaker 2: 5:56

Absolutely. I mean, I think that what we've found is Because we realize that who we spend time with affects the decisions we make, the environments we put ourselves in. You know, we want to spend most of our time with people who are like-minded, like-hearted, have similar goals and values, and because we know they're gonna have the most influence on our lives. I mean, even we knew this early on in parenting or, sorry, not in parenting in marriage, even before we had kids, and even before we were healthy in our physical bodies, right, we put ourselves into community groups where there were other young married couples that wanted to fight for marriage, wanted to contend for each other, wanted to learn and grow, and it really helped us out, I think, when we were married at 21, 22, 23, and we were trying to figure out this new way of doing life together. So what does that mean for you, though?

Speaker 1: 6:44

Well, I just think about you know, since we really began our health journeys 12 and a half years ago and it was, it was a case study in how community can change for the better or for the worse. Obviously, you were influenced by some people that we knew from church and then you were kind of the Catalyst in our friend group because you inspired me to get healthy. We've got Matt, monique and David and Alicia got healthy with us and a bunch of people that we used to spend a ton of time with socially and we would, you know, enjoy holidays together, lots of barbecues and things like that. And you not only were kind of the catalyst, or one of the catalysts, for us to all choose to get healthy collectively, but it also changed the landscape of how we ate. You know I remember our original.

Speaker 1: 7:31

You know pre-healthy. You know get-togethers. You know the the dessert table was the big table and then it wasn't like when we all got healthy that we didn't ever have dessert anymore. Like I remember, you know, matt used to be famous for his home brewed root beer and we, you know root beer, floats and things like that, and actually, you know, we I don't think he ever made that again after we all got healthy together and we did just fine and it wasn't like we didn't celebrate birthdays with birthday cake or ice cream or anything like that. Certainly for our kids we continue to let them have some of those treats. It was all about, you know, being reasonable with things and portion control and frequency.

Speaker 1: 8:07

But even when we did have desserts it just it changed. It was no longer the focus of what we ate all the time. And the other thing is obviously, you know, hanging out with fellow coaches. There's kind of this interesting dynamic of can I be the one to have dessert? You know we're out to dinner. There's this hesitancy for people to even have a dessert and the reality is we're not telling anyone they can't ever have dessert again. But when you up your game it's kind of like you know, when you're hanging out with potentially a bunch of church people, you're probably gonna watch your language different than if you're hanging out with a bunch of your bowling buddies or something like that. And that's the benefit of accountability.

Speaker 2: 8:47

Absolutely, and that was definitely a really interesting time for us because I think we changed just simple things like did we always have dessert in the House, or did we enjoy dessert on special occasions and when we went out? So that's one of the things we coach clients through right now is when you get to a place where you have maybe lost your weight, you're at your maintaining a healthy weight and you just set your environment up to support your goals. So for us, we just knew that, you know, no longer having dessert in the house and ice cream in the freezer all the time and me baking desserts every week, that was not gonna serve our health goals. But when we wanted a nice dessert, we had something and then we moved on.

Speaker 2: 9:21

I mean, yes, back in those old days I was a pampered chef consultant. So much of the food that we cooked was a really unhealthy and I think once I became a health coach, we just transitioned. I've had those cookbooks in our pantry for 10 plus years and actually recently just started to give some of them away to goodwill because I thought I just don't cook this way anymore. I have either taken these same recipes and made them healthier or I've just completely transitioned how we cook and eat. So this is how we've kept ourselves from going down and back as we've changed our environments. So what if Someone's family, friends or colleagues are unhealthy or even agnostic when it comes to getting healthy?

Speaker 1: 9:57

Well, I think the first thing is to just lead the way. I said agnostic, what's?

Speaker 2: 10:03

the word I wanted to say is antagonistic.

Speaker 1: 10:05

Antagonistic. Well, they could be agnostic about health. They could be agnostic that they don't care yeah. But if they're antagonistic, they might be more.

Speaker 2: 10:14

They might be teasing or you know causing disruption.

Speaker 1: 10:16

Yeah, that would be the anchor that we talked about.

Speaker 2: 10:17

Yes, so let's take it from both angles.

Speaker 1: 10:19

There we go. So the bottom line is to lead the way. I mean, we just talked about this is that all it takes is one little stone to get thrown into a lake or a pond to create that ripple effect. And so every community there's someone who has the ability to be that initial stone to create that ripple effect. Now, does it mean that there's not going to be a lot of resistance? Does that mean that that ripple is going to go all the way to the shore? No, not necessarily, depending on how much resistance there is. But every one of us has the option to be that single person who initiates health, and you were that in our sphere of influence. I mean your choice to get healthy impacted me a lot of our family, I mean your parents are still much healthier than they would be.

Speaker 1: 11:01

We talk about just you know how active that they are, because they not only chose to get healthy but really make it a very much a lifestyle, and the bottom line is, if getting healthy is important enough to you, you're going to find a way. So I was just last week. I had a conversation with a someone I know who was talking about going on a trip with some family members and that some of the people that they would be traveling with are not health minded. And it was. It was helpful because, number one, she was reaching out to have a conversation to create some accountability and, number two, to also create a plan to figure out how do I navigate being with people who potentially could be a little bit antagonistic or like hey, why aren't you having ice cream? Or, you know, why are you eating so healthy? You know you and I have been there where there's people who want to bring you down. Maybe they're not intentionally trying to do it, but it's kind of like come on, just hang out with us.

Speaker 1: 12:00

I've talked about how, the fact that you know, when I began my health journey, I was working with a pretty fun group of guys at the police department and one or two ladies, and every Saturday we would cook breakfast in the lunchroom together and once I got healthy, my, I chose not to participate in most of those breakfast because they were very unhealthy. Definitely. It was a lot of. You know I'm eating you know something healthy for breakfast during briefing and you know they're dangling you know whatever French toast or crepes or something like that. Like, come on, kevin, don't you want some? It's like, yeah, it would be great, but I'm choosing health.

Speaker 1: 12:34

So, just really, in going back to this person that I was talking to, it's important to navigate and to plan ahead. Like, how, how are you going to have this conversation? It's actually one of the tips that I gave this person was hey, why don't you let them know ahead of time? I just want to give you a heads up. I'm really focused on my health right now. So if you see me, see me eating a little bit different, that's why and I but I'm letting you know so that you can support me on this and just kind of making that assumption that they will support what we've learned through- the years is by communicating that on the front end it makes a huge difference.

Speaker 2: 13:12

But sorry, you go ahead. And then I had another thought.

Speaker 1: 13:14

So and the so, the other.

Speaker 1: 13:16

So what we're talking about is, if you can change your circle, that that's great, but if you can't change your circle, change your circle.

Speaker 1: 13:23

So what we're not saying is abandon your family, abandon your friends, but what we are saying is, if they're not going to come along with you, understand that if you continue to spend the same amount of time with them, it will come at us at come at a cost.

Speaker 1: 13:39

And what we've learned is that, because health is such an important piece of our life and we found that being healthy physically improves our finances and improves our marriage, improves our parenting, improves our mission for God that it is so important to us that if people are not, if people are definitely going to be the anchors when it comes to health, then we do what Darren Hardy talks about and we shift from being maybe those two week type of people to those two minute type of people or two hour type of people. And just really, so it's not saying that, okay, you're never going to spend time with that family again, but maybe, instead of spending the entire week of Christmas with that family, you say, hey, we're going to fly in or we're going to come and have a meal with you, but that's it, and this goes for you know people, family members, that might be abusive. You know verbally, emotionally, you know alcoholics and things like that, you name it. This concept works and it really translates across all the domains of life.

Speaker 2: 14:36

Exactly. And I think, just to add on to that, what I was hearing you say that I know we work with our clients on is both posture and accountability. So you know, when it comes to posture, it's not saying I can't have something and I'm on a diet and kind of that. You know poor me attitude, because people will often just again pull you back and down when they sense that that's your mindset about it. But if you're saying something like I'm excited, I'm making progress, I'm creating health for myself, I have some goals and I'm working towards them, people are much more likely to help you co-create. And then the other thing is you know, another thing we've been talking to a lot to clients about is that we can all diet in the dark, you know. So if we're doing it privately, quietly, then people don't know what we're doing and they can't help support it. But when we say something, when we ask for that accountability more publicly, then that allows people to come alongside us and also gives them that heads up hey, I'm doing something and they'd have to be pretty far, they would have to be pretty what's the right word for it? I mean Discouraging to just really come out against someone who has publicly asked for accountability and wants to grow, and that might tell you a lot about the relationship with them. And then to your other point.

Speaker 2: 15:44

I was actually talking to one of our coaches this week who was saying that because their health was so in alignment, she's like everything else is lining up. You know, she's dealing with some stressful situations, with some of the other things that she has on our plate, and she's like because my physical health is in order, because I'm taking care of my physical body, my exercise is better, my sleep is better, my relationships are better, our finances are getting better. So it is very interesting how it's all connected to each other and it's so important. So the second component of healthy surroundings is our environment. So first there's the people and then there's the environment, and I love this James clear Quote because it sets it up nicely If you haven't read atomic habits by James clear, phenomenal book, life changing and so simple, yet so profound.

Speaker 2: 16:28

But the quote that he has is environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior. Wow, isn't that true? So let's talk real quickly about physical surroundings. What are some things that we've noticed, that we've done personally to set ourselves up for success, things we share with our clients, but things that we've also Personally done in our lives.

Speaker 1: 16:51

I think probably one of the best examples of how important environment is is to think about either a cruise or an all-inclusive vacation.

Speaker 2: 17:00

Right, those two environments of your favorite things exactly. I think we're being facetious.

Speaker 1: 17:05

I hate all-incluses because the quality of food has been incredibly poor and Even cruises not very impressed by the majority of cruises not that we've been on that many, but definitely not impressed by them. However, those two types of vacations are notorious for being absolutely Destructive for people's health goals. Like people make the assumption that they're gonna basically gorge themselves, are gonna be getting drunk and you know, packing on the pounds for both of those types of trips. And the biggest reason is you put yourself in environment where there's a ton of unhealthy food and it's all you can eat. Right, you've prepaid for it, but you're not feeling they. They hit in your wall every single time you you choose a meal, and that is a perfect example of how Environment can play into that.

Speaker 1: 17:52

The flip side is that you go to a high-end resort where nothing's included and you even have to pay for water. Like you're probably not gonna drink as much water as you would normally drink and you're certainly likely to Not eat nearly as much as you would if you were on that all-inclusive. You know, vacation or cruise. So, practically, how can we control our environment? One of the most important things to do is just clear out our pantry and our refrigerator. We've talked about this in the series, not by eating all the cookies exactly, exactly like the reality is.

Speaker 1: 18:24

You know, I remember your mom saying this years ago, you know, after she got healthy, she's like you have to be willing to waste perfectly good junk food to get healthy. And you know it's. And that's one of those tough things that you know. Certainly I come from family background we didn't waste anything right. There's no. You know, you eat your leftovers clean play club, all that kind of stuff. I mean from both sides of my family. That was kind of how we talked, but that's not a healthy mindset. And so, clearing out your pantry, clearing out your refrigerator, the bottom line is if you don't have it in the house, it's much more difficult to eat. So, like we talked about, you know, back in the day, we always had a, you know, probably a couple of half gallons of briars ice cream in the freezer. Now it's extremely rare for us to keep ice cream in the freezer if we have a birthday or something like that In the freezer.

Speaker 2: 19:11

Well, nothing like ice cream, right?

Speaker 1: 19:12

But because we have three, but the bottom lines, we just don't buy extra. So if it's for a birthday party, we buy enough for the birthday party and then it's gone and that's it. And it keeps me from eating ice cream the way that I used to back in the day.

Speaker 2: 19:24

Yeah, actually we have a little ice cream in the freezer from handles from Austin's birthday the other day and it's it's less than you and I used to keep in our household for the two of us and it's been in there for a couple of days with three teenage boys and it's not gone yet, which is kind of shocked.

Speaker 1: 19:39

I think it's because they're so tired from the school and football.

Speaker 2: 19:41

They are, they are, and so, guys, I'll just tell you, as a mom, I take extreme ownership in this because you know, moms are not the only ones that grocery shop and I don't think we're the only ones that run our household. But we can set the tone on this and for me it has been a life passion, since getting healthy, to create environments for our family that make it easier to choose health. So I know we talked about on a previous episode like finding healthy substitutions, so I'm not taking all things out that you know, especially kids would want to eat, like pasta, rice or snacks that they need to have on hand, but I'm finding the healthiest version I can and I'm putting those in place of the things that may be a typical family would have around and that just eliminates even the decision fatigue from trying to make the decision on gosh, junk food or super healthy food. The other thing we do is we have pre-washed fruit and pre-washed and cut up vegetables in the fridge almost all the time, and this is something you can delegate. One of your kids can do it.

Speaker 2: 20:40

One of our assistants does this for us regularly and because we have these things on hand, it's a lot easier to choose that. The other thing when you're going to restaurants and eating out is look at the menu ahead of time. If you know where you're going, make some predetermined decisions. Talk to someone who knows about health. In our case, a lot of our clients will talk to us about their experiences like, okay, I'm heading out to this particular restaurant for this special occasion and for me I love to say what do you think you should have and then kind of talk it through with them so I know where their mindset is and so many times they can find, you know, delicious, healthy protein and vegetables and make an option that is wonderful for them to experience without pulling them back and down into past habits.

Speaker 1: 21:20

So you know when we're talking about feeding what we feed our kids. It's amazing. You know how many parents will choose to get healthy, yet they still feed them, their kids.

Speaker 2: 21:29

Heartbreaking Carb garbage food.

Speaker 1: 21:31

I cannot quite get my head around that yet, and I keep seeing this post going around on social where people are talking about you're putting premium gas in your car while you're eating. You know the gas station junk food, yeah, and it is a great reminder. You're like, wow, we put better fuel in our car than we do in our bodies. And you know there's people that put you know by organic, all natural dog food for their dog and yet they eat tons of crap. It's like, guys, how much do you value your life, how much do you value your health and how much do you value the health of your kids? When you step back and think about some of the things that we put only the best in and then you look at how we treat ourselves or our kids, it really is a wake up call.

Speaker 2: 22:10

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 22:11

So one last thing I just want to go back to the community piece is you know, when we talk about just the importance of people, I would say that there are going to be some people and this probably isn't going to happen to everyone but there are some people that are downright, you know, they're not only anchors but they're like, actively trying to bring you down with them, and my advice is those people you just need to block, you need to cut them out of your life. You can let them know. Hey, I'm taking a break from this relationship because it is very it is not helpful to me and this you know, any anyone who is going to hold you back, Whether it's, you know, because of emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, or just you know they are holding you back from the goals that you've set, whether it's financially, you know, if you have a goal to get out of debt and there's someone like, no, you got to buy this, and they're trying to, you know, encourage you right to go further into debt.

Speaker 1: 23:07

You need to cut the chain with that type of person. In the same thing with your health if there's someone who is Actively trying to discourage you from getting healthy, I would recommend that you eliminate that association for at least a Temporary time period, and potentially it might need to go longer than that.

Speaker 2: 23:25

Absolutely great way to finish, babe. So this has been an incredible series. Congrats to those of you who follow through on your commitment to yourselves. Tag us and use the hashtag Summer health challenge to share your results or your biggest wins. We would love to come alongside you. Keep listening each week, as we have some big things ahead for the rest of this year. And now, what you've all been waiting for. We are so excited to announce our new, totally free tool you can use to win in your health right now.

Speaker 1: 23:54

So we are excited to announce the uncommon health assessment. It's something that our team has been working on for a while and I got to see it for the first time yesterday, and it is an awesome, simple little tool. It will only take you a couple minutes to go through and it's super excited to be able to offer this a great, incredible tool to you. So, no matter where you are in your health journey, taking this completely free assessment will reveal important actions you can take to build healthy habits and achieve what we call optimal health, which is basically the best possible health for who you are. The assessment will give you a score range and some amazing tips that you can act on right away to start improving your health today. Go take it right now at beckon kevcom backslash UF dash health, dash assessment. And I know that you might not have copied that down in time, so that link will be in the show notes. So head over to the show notes and you can click on the link, and you can find it on our social media channels too.

Speaker 1: 24:55

Thanks for listening to the uncommon freedom show. We believe freedom isn't man's invention. It was created by God. If you are enjoying the show, please give us a five-star review on the platform You're listening to us on, then subscribe and share with friends and family that you think will enjoy the show. You can connect with us at beckon kevcom for more resources to learn biblical principles, essential disciplines and the winning habits that help. Once average people lead the life they want instead of accepting the life they were giving.